American Dad's Roger the Alien Speaks Out

If the smart folks at Fox greenlighted the movie Roger: The Untold Story, what would be the basic storyline? What would be the biggest surprise be for the audience, or for the Smiths?

Much like Ray Charles and Johnny Cash, I’m an unbridled genius with a dead brother. That’s right, tragedy is no stranger to Roger the Alien. Poor, dead, Esopoglop… Ooh! Do you think I’d get to play myself in the movie? What a juicy role… though they’ll probably call in a Ledger or a cross-dressed Theron to do the job. There are so few parts for non-humanoid actors. This is a humanoid-dominated business! I’m an alien and an actor. Not an alien actor! I’m a raconteur; I wanna tell stories!

What are your favorite shows about aliens? Which one does the most injustice to your people, if you don’t mind us lumping all aliens into one group?

You humans are fascinated by Alien culture, but mostly you get it wrong! It’s ridiculous. That cast of waif-ish drag queens on Desperate Housewives really poorly reflects on all of us. I can’t imagine what backwoods planet Hollywood pillaged to find those freaks. Don’t even get me started on Mork and Mindy starring Robin Williams, that obvious showboat! Drinking out of his finger, wearing suspenders… embarrassing. And Third Rock from the Sun, ugh! That dorky bunch couldn’t be more clueless. Cheap shots, all of them. Yes, exploitation helps young upstarts make a buck, but we’re not all clumsy oafs. I know it doesn’t jibe with your demo, Gail, but Star Trek Voyager got a lot of stuff really right… the episode with the Photonic Canon and the doctor singing opera, I got chills… Yeah, definitely check that one out.

Have you met anyone else at Fox? The Simpsons, the folks from Family Guy, perhaps even a cast member or two from The OC?

Yeah, yeah, Mischa Barton and I hang. We’re neighbors. I’m currently living in Margot Kidder’s old place, but I’m looking for digs in Malibu. I’ve got my eye on the home of a certain Britney Spears, but my accountant thinks any day she’ll drop the baby and her realtor will drop the asking price. In the meantime I’m enjoying the fabu young Hollywood domestic scene. Mischies pieces and I play monopoly with Jason Priestley every Wednesday. Throw a couple of steaks on the grill. You know, keep it chill.

Obviously, American Dad can’t go on forever, though we wish it many decades. Where do you see your career going after the show has run its course?

Just the other day I was jaywalking my Pomeranian in Beverly Hills, and Wanda Sykes approached me! Like, the Wanda Sykes! She wanted to go halfzies on a pitch for a Roger the Alien spin-off, but I told her that I won’t go all “Joey” on my fans. Besides, my new agent sees me as more of a leading man. Naturally, the next step is the big screen. I’m no fool; it’s all about branding. Perfume, sneakers, a recording contract, these things aren’t too far off for me. And I’m in no hurry to overexpose. Ballpark, I have at least 300 more years left in this life cycle.