The Police are here to teach us all a lesson. What to do after your reunion tour is named the highest-grossing of 2007? Run that sucker into the ground! To honor the news that the trio will circle North America one final time, with Elvis Costello and the Imposters in tow, Paste offers the imagined by-laws of The Police:
Keep that castle-money comin'. With tickets priced at $50, $90 and $225, it's gonna take a Zenyatta of Mondatta to attend the upcoming concerts. The dates are being billed as the band's "final area appearances," but it wasn't so long ago that the Police reunion seemed like a pipe dream. CNET.com's Matt Rosoff points out in a recent blog post that though Police fan club members get an earlier chance at tickets, their credit cards may literally pay the price through an automatic renewal contract clause.
Have a post-Police project on the burner. Guitarist Andy Summers is making a documentary, Sting's planning to "pick a few olives" at his Italian villa and drummer Stewart Copeland...well, he's already nostalgic about the still-unfinished tour.
NO MORE ALBUMS. Sting and Summers have both declared that there's definitely not a new Police album in the works, which is a bummer, especially for fans of the modern-day, "jazz odyssey" Police stylings.
Forgive, forget and forge a partnership. Although Elvis Costello and The Police (or, more specifically, Sting) have traded zingers in the past, the two men (#8 and #62, respectively, on Paste's 100 Best Living Songwriters list) have been building bridges over the chasm throughout the oughts. They were both nominated for Academy Awards in 2004 for their contributions to the Cold Mountain soundtrack. They also sang together on longtime Costello keyboardist Steve Nieve's 2007 "modern opera," Welcome To The Voice. Costello, along with Dave Matthews and John Mayer, also participated in the 2004 MusiCares tribute to Sting (Elvis sings "Every Little Thing..." at around 1:05):
The Police w/Elvis Costello and the Imposters:
May
1 - Ottawa, Ontario @ Scotiabank Place
3 - Buffalo, N.Y. @ HSBC Arena
4 - Columbus, Ohio @ Nationwide Arena
10 - Chicago, Ill. @ Allstate Arena
13 - Kansas City, Mo. @ Sprint Center
14 - Omaha, Neb. @ Qwest Center
16 - Orlando, Fla. @ Amway Center
17 - West Palm Beach, Fla. @ Cruzan Amphitheatre
20 - Houston, Texas @ Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion
21 - Dallas, Texas @ Superpages.com Center
23 - Las Vegas, Nev. @ MGM Grand
24 - Phoenix, Ariz. @ Cricket Wireless Pavilion
26 - San Diego, Calif. @ Coors Amphitheatre
27 - Hollywood, Calif. @ The Hollywood Bowl
July
11 - Ridgefield, Wash. @ Amphitheater at Clark County
12 - George, Wash. @ The Gorge
14 - San Francisco, Calif. @ Shoreline Amphitheatre
16 - Concord, Calif. @ Sleep Train Pavilion
17 - Sacramento, Calif. @ Sleep Train Amphitheatre
19 - Salt Lake City, Utah @ USANA Amphitheatre
21 - Denver, Colo. @ Red Rocks Amphitheatre
25 - Milwaukee, Wis. @ Marcus Amphitheater
26 - Detroit, Mich. @ DTE Energy Music Theater
28 - Pittsburgh, Pa. @ Post Gazette Pavilion
29 - Philadelphia, Pa. @ Wachovia Center
31 - Boston, Mass. @ Tweeter Center
August
1 - Saratoga, N.Y. @ Saratoga Performing Arts Center
3 - Holmdel, N.J. @ PNC Bank Arts Center
4 - Wantagh, N.Y. @ Nikon at Jones Beach Theater
The Police:
June
3 - Marseille, France @ Stade Velodrome
5 - Mannheim, Germany @ SAP Arena
7 - Werchter, Belguim @ TW Festival
8 - Dusseldorf, Germany @ LTU Arena
10 - St. Etienne, France @ Stade J. Guichard
11 - Oslo, Norway @ Valle Horvin
13 - Haderslev, Denmark @ Landsstaevnestadion
15 - Newport, UK @ Isle of Wight Festival
17 - Manchester, UK @ MEN Arena
18 - Manchester, UK @ MEN Arena
26 - Chorzow, Poland @ Silesian Stadium
28 - Leipzig, Germany @ Zentralstadion
29 - London, UK @ Hyde Park
July
2 - Valencia, Spain @ Estadio Ciutat de Valencia
4 - Bilbao, Spain @ BBK Live Festival
5 - Madrid, Spain @ Rock in Rio Festival
Elvis Costello and the Imposters:
April
22 - Memphis, Tenn. @ New Daisy Theatre
23 - Nashville, Tenn. @ Ryman Auditorium
27 - New Orleans, La. @ New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival
28 - Atlanta, Ga. @ Tabernacle
Related links:
ThePolice.com
ElvisCostello.com
Paste feature: The Police: Friendly Ghosts in the Machine
Got news tips for Paste? E-mail news@pastemagazine.com.




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