Hot off the presses and smashed into one beautifully cluttered hot mess of a paragraph, here are the confirmed musical artists performing at Bonnaroo 2008:
Pearl Jam, Metallica, Jack Johnson, Kanye West, Robert Plant & Alison Krauss, Phil Lesh & Friends, My Morning Jacket, The Allman Brothers Band, The Raconteurs, Willie Nelson, Death Cab for Cutie, B.B. King, Sigur Rós , Levon Helm and the Ramble on the Road, Ben Folds, O.A.R., The Bluegrass Allstars Feat. Luke Bulla, Sam Bush, Jerry Douglas, Bela Fleck, Edgar Meyer and Bryan Sutton, M.I.A., Umphrey's McGee, Iron & Wine, Yonder Mountain String Band, Swell Season, Talib Kweli, Derek Trucks & Susan Tedeschi’s Soul Stew Revival, Gogol Bordello, Broken Social Scene, Robert Randolph’s Revival, Rilo Kiley, Mastodon, Lupe Fiasco, Against Me!, Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings, Pat Green, Ozomatli, Tegan & Sara, Solomon Burke, Drive-By Truckers, !!!, The Avett Brothers, Israel Vibration, Abigail Washburn & the Sparrow Quartet featuring Bela Fleck, Phil Lesh / Larry Campbell / Jackie Greene, Aimee Mann, Ladytron, The Fiery Furnaces, Orchestra Baobab, Ghostland Observatory, José González, Dark Star Orchestra, Minus the Bear, Donavon Frankenreiter, State Radio, Battles, Jakob Dylan, Two Gallants, The Sword, Vampire Weekend, Little Feat, Nicole Atkins, The Felice Brothers, Mason Jennings, MGMT, The Lee Boys, Black Kids, Serena Ryder, Steel Train, Grupo Fantasma, Back Door Slam.
Phew! Deep breath, everyone, because the best is yet to come. In a truly shocking turn of events, Bonnaroo has trumped all the other summer festivals by getting what is arguably the most sought-after rock 'n' roll ticket of the last 25 years. That's right, LED ZEPPELIN will be performing Tennessee this June. Incredible! Can you imagine? Three of the biggest rock 'n' roll bands of all time—Pearl Jam, Metallica and Led Zeppelin—will perform at the very same event. How did they pull this off?!? Hey, wait a second...
Sorry about that; we misread one letter. Lez Zeppelin will be performing. But hey, don't fret, folks. After all, Chuck Klosterman has said that the tribute group might very well be "the most powerful all-female band in rock history." Not too shabby, eh?
Brushing aside our journalistic faux pas, Bonnaroo has already confirmed an impressive stand-up lineup as well. The comedy tent will bring the funny via Zach Galifianakis, Janeane Garofalo, Jim Norton, Brian Posehn, Mike Birbiglia, John Mulaney and Michelle Buteau. Best of all, David Cross will return to the festival to host "an original midnight talk show complete with a house band, comic skits and special guests" called "Bonnaroo Late Time Chat About." We annihilated our collective funny bone just typing those words.
As previously reported, the Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival will take place June 12-15 on a 700-acre farm in Manchester, Tenn. Tickets go on sale exclusively through Bonnaroo.com on Feb. 16 at 12 p.m. EDT.
Speaking of ticket sales, for all you Bonnaboys and Bonnagirls out there, the festival is offering a new way to express your utter fandom. A commemorative DVD featuring select performance and backstage footage complete with 5.1 surround sound straight from the Bonnaroo soundboards will be made available at an exclusive and as-yet-undisclosed amount to ticket buyers.
And that's not all! You thought we were done, but as it turns out, Bonnaroo 2008 is actually the greatest infomercial ever! In addition to all the various acts listed above, more will be announced in the coming weeks. The festival organizers promise at least 100 bands and 20 comedians total, which means, by our count, that there will be at least 29 more musical acts and 13 more comedians announced in the next four months and six days.
See? We're making up for the spelling error earlier. PasteMagazine.com: Your source for obscenely thorough summer-festival coverage and simple math. We'll keep you posted on more Bonnaroo 2008 news as it develops. Stay tuned...
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