Survivor begins 16th season, markets like crazy

As Survivor began its 16th season last night on CBS, one thing was clear: Although the $1 million prize can only ever go to one person, everybody makes it out alive, tanned, toned and with a diet void of too many preservatives. The network’s Consumer Products division has decided to cash in on such health-related associations via the great American tradition of extensive merchandising.

Variety reports that the Survivor brand will be licensed to a fitness program and vitamin-enhanced sunflower seeds containing 100 percent of the recommended daily intake of B and C, coming to a checkout line near you this March. According to WHFoods.com, sunflower seeds already do a body pretty good with 90.5 percent of one’s daily vitamin E requirements, as well as significant traces of magnesium and cholesterol-lowering phytosterols, but perhaps these Survivor seeds will be even better. CBS has said there are also plans on the table to create Survivor brand outdoor adventure and corporate team-building programs, which hopefully won’t include an episode-inspired group hunt to kill a wild pig.

“You’ll see a lot more irons in the fire,” CBS told Variety. We here at Paste decided to put on our speculation boots—place our own proverbial iron into the proverbial fire, if you will—and offer up a few marketing possibilities:

1. Tiki torches that not only keep away meddling insects, but also emit a synthetic rendition of host Jeff Probst’s natural musk, for enhanced well-being.
2. Exfoliation cream using sand from exotic filming locations like the Australian Outback and Guatemala.
3. Immunity. Literally. Just pure, bottled immunity. If HeadOn (Apply directly to the forehead!) sells, so will this.

Related links:
Survivor on CBS
NutsOnline.com: Sunflower Seeds in 10 delicious varieties
GeneSimmons.com Store

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