Phish to receive lifetime honor at Jammy Awards

Come spring, jam band lovers will trek up to the Big Apple to watch The Jammy Awards at Madison Square Garden. This year, Jammy fans will have the privilege of watching Phish accept the Lifetime Achievement Award, which has been awarded in the past to The Grateful Dead, B.B. King, Stevie Wonder, and Frank Zappa.

This news should thrill Phish phans, many of whom spent days in their cars waiting on Vermont highways to see the band play its final show in 2004.

To help New York City get ready for the award show, we've compiled a Top Four Suggested Preparations For The Jammys list:

4. Rename all numbered cross avenues with more appropriate titles. Fifth avenue can be changed to Patchouli Lane. 56th Avenue should be turned into Snowphish Road.

3. All boutiques around MSG should be converted into head shops. High fashion items should be removed, or properly tie-dyed.

2. Record shops should only be allowed to stock Jammy music on their shelves. Suggested artists include Phish, The Dead, Allman Brothers, Phil Lesh's solo work, Sound Tribe Sector Nine's first couple albums, Jefferson Airplane, moe., String Cheese Incident, Disco Biscuits, King Crimson, The Lovin' Spoonful, Zappa, Rusted Root, Widespread Panic, Medeski, Martin & Wood, Bob Marley and O.A.R.

1. Set up some yurts on the streets around MSG for visitors to sleep in.

The 7th Annual Jammys will be held on May 7.

Got news tips for Paste? E-mail news@pastemagazine.com.