Five reasons you shouldn't care about Zach Galifianakis

1. Zach has ass AIDS and only has a couple of months left to live. It’s really not worth the emotional investment.

2. He refuses to keep Kosher and will not celebrate or even recognize the legitimacy of the High Holy Days.

3. He’s just a fucking standup comic!

4. When asked on national television about the state of standup comedy in America, he said, and I quote: “American standup sucks right now. I’m really one of a very few comedians doing anything interesting or actually funny.”

5. Patton is an unreliable source since undergoing season-ending Tommy John surgery.

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