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Release Date: Sept. 5Director/Writer: Jason Todd Ipson
Cinematographer: Michael Fimognari
Starring: Jay Jablonski, Cerina Vincent, John Kapelos
Studio/Run Time: Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer , 105 mins.
Jake Bianski (Jay Jablonski) is hopelessly in love with his ex-girlfriend from an unrealistically long eight years ago. She’s moved on, with a husband and three children, but still he obsesses over her while she fails to remember about the existence of restraining orders. After his friends have finally had enough of his ridiculousness, they set him up with Marisa (Cerina Vincent), and the two very slowly begin dating. This happens just in time for his ex to suddenly decide she does love him, mostly because otherwise Everybody Wants to Be Italian’s plot would be too thin, even for a cheaply made romantic comedy.The film’s gimmick is that both Jake and Marisa are
pretending to be Italian because they meet at an Italian singles-club party. But rather than acting as a metaphor for how
both parties are lying to each other, this subplot is fairly innocuous and
mostly there just for some cheap jokes about Italians and stereotypes. If the whole Italian business was removed,
the film would be just the same, only a little bit less grating and offensive.
But what ultimately makes Everybody Wants to Be Italian painful is its characters. Jake is not just psychotic, as noted in the
film, but also a huge jerk. He mistreats
both women in his life and their attraction to him seems merely physical. Jablonski gives him a certain level of
charisma, but even the film’s best moments come crashing down because of his obvious acting. Not that this problem is localized to him, though, as director Jason
Todd Ipson managed to illicit self-conscious performances from
everyone. Marisa is almost as difficult to watch as
Jake, and forms the other half of their relationship based entirely on physical
attraction rather than chemistry.
The film is a reminder why romantic comedies have died off so much in recent years. But it can be done; Italian just lacks the fundamental elements of the genre. The film’s romantic half is tiresome and unrealistic while its comedic half consists of little more than poor observations about Italians. Together, the two are linked by aching montages set to sad indie music, all of which combines into one of the most dull and predictable pictures of the year.
Watch the trailer for Everybody Wants to be Italian:
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Wow! This is so weird, as here I am watching a movie of the same name, with the same actors, and basically the same plot - only in this one, it has really great old songs by Dean Martin, not just indie songs, and it's about a really cool community of people who work together, help each other out, and forgive each other their crudeness.
Yes, there is some stereotyping going on, but, as it is by Italians and about Italians, it is hardly anything for anyone to get upset about. And, as the Italians are forcing two non-Italians to act Italian, the stereotyping is funny.
Yes, there is lying going on - yes, the man has issues.. but ...
This is a movie about romance, psychology, and the human condition. It is obvious his long term devotion to his ex-girlfriend is a way of atoning for his sins committed during their relationship, of learning how to give to a woman and move beyond his petty, selfish, fleshly needs and it is also obvious that the film is making a point, both in favor of soul mates and in favor of psychology, which is basically that two people under the right circumstances (which happened to an extent) can get together, and that two people even under the wrong circumstances, who are meant for each other, can see and move past all the bullshite that society throws at them and that they sometimes spew out themselves, stop being selfish and defensive, and just LOVE.
It's a very sweet movie. If you like good, old fashioned Italian music, if you can embrace your own or other cultures, if you like the sort of neighborhood where people know each other and mostly treat each other good, if you like romance and friendship, and you want to be accepted for yourself and accept other people as they are, and learn to love them for their good qualities, this is probably a movie for you!