Really quick for the 24 newbies: Ever since the beginning of Season Four, Fox has waited until January to kick off a new batch of episodes (as opposed to November) to avoid losing precious momentum in that three-week gap networks are in reruns from mid-December to early/mid-January. That's the reason for the four hour, two-nights-in-a-row premiere every season since. Momentum: In 24's real-time world, it matters.
For the second night of the premiere, we were promised a "big surprise," which revealed itself in the first hour. It turns out Tony Almeida was actually working undercover, Jack finds out right before nearly breaking his neck in the holding room. Or, perhaps the surprise was that former CTU personnel Bill Buchanan and dry-humored computer nerd Chloe O'Brian are back and working with Tony independent of the government. Or, maybe, let's face it: There was no A-bomb to jump-start Season Seven of 24. For those familiar with the show, a genuine shock stems from a dare of sorts. "Would they really do that?" And that can be assassinating a former president, setting off a nuke in L.A., melting down a nuclear power plant, killing off a main character, Jack being forced to assassinate one of his own people, etc.
So no, nothing relatively shocking. That's not to say the first four hours were bad...just that they lacked that hand-over-the-mouth reaction fans have come to expect.
There is a nice little story unfolding, though. Jack has resolved he needs to help Tony get back undercover. (Rule numero uno: Keep Jack in the loop at all times, or expect setbacks.) To do that, Jack, too, must go undercover. This may be the only chance to get to Sengala colonel Ike Dubaku, who is the mastermind behind the latest terror threat. "Hold up," you say. "There's no way any bad guys are going to knowingly let Bauer hang out with them." But with ungrateful senators giving him grief about torture after his saving thousands upon thousands of lives, it's not entirely implausible.
The new characters are also coming into focus. For instance, as predicted in the last 24 TV Detail, Chloe has met her match with Janeane Garofalo's FBI whiz woman, Janis. Though never seeing each other face-to-face (yet), the two engage in an all-out hacker war while Chloe is trying to manipulate FBI surveillance to clear a way for Jack and Tony's escape from FBI headquarters. Additionally, Agent Renee Walker is like a mini Jack-Bauer-in-training after, ahem, coercing a bed-bound suspect in the hospital.
Trying to explain every storyline would be fruitless, but here's where the fourth hour dropped us off. President Allison Taylor is debating whether she should follow through with her plans to invade Sengala in light of the terror plot. Her husband, Henry, has discovered the couple's son was murdered and didn't commit suicide like everyone told him, indicating people close to the president are somehow involved. The Prime Minister of Sengala is about to be kidnapped...by Jack and Tony.
There's no doubt it's a decent start to a long-awaited season, providing both action and political commentary for heated debates. While it would've been nice to see one of those gasp! moments, it's important to take into account the environment and most of the characters have changed. For the audience to be affected by a detrimental attack, familiarity and comfort is necessary. After all, there are still 20 hours to go, and the day has only just begun.

Where Have All The Weird Girls Gone?…

Great review, but when is Jack going to be stopped by the sudden and uncomfortable urge to diarrhea in his pants? I think that is the only event that can stop this man, a bursting bowel movement. Joe Dirt hasn't had this many bad days in his life, and he has a muskrat attached to his nugget. Keep up the good work and watch out for trees.