Unglued: Remembrances of Björk's Past

“Because Iceland is really just one big family, it’s simply annoying to go around asking Icelanders if they’ve met Björk. Of course they’ve met Björk; who hasn’t met Björk? Who, for that matter, didn’t know Björk when she was two?
—“Wall Street on the Tundra” by Michael Lewis, in the April 2009 issue of Vanity Fair

Aðal Lárusdóttir, neighbor:

“Oh yes, she’s really just one of us. Doesn’t put on airs, says hello to the neighbors from atop her ostrich made of rainbows. A real pillar of the community.”

Flip Spicelanddis, meteorologist:
“Sure, I know Björk. She was responsible for a major revision in our weather vocabulary. Now, instead of saying today’s weather will be ‘cold,’ we say it will be ‘cöld.’”

Uni Ásgrímsson, gardener:
“Once Björk locked me in a tree house and said she would only let me out if I pooped in a neon-pink knee sock. I pooped in the sock. Later she told me that the sock inspired her 2007 world tour.”

Frímann Jakobsson, costume designer:
“She caused such a stir when she wore that swan dress to the Oscars, but in Iceland it’s common to wear one’s prey, especially to awards ceremonies. We all know she wore that dress as a symbol of our self-sufficiency and inventiveness, and in tandem with our belief that giant swans are the reason some children are born with club feet. Animal costumes are a pretty typical cultural institution here—every summer in Reykjavík, we have a bear-carcass ball.”

Lilja Haraldsdóttir, prison guard:
“Wasn’t Dancer in the Dark hilarious? The only way it could have been funnier would have been if Björk had played several different characters in fat suits. I tried to tell her that, but she wouldn’t reply. She was busy meditating, gazing into the middle-distance while fondling this nasty pink sock.”

Helgi Eyjólfsson, shoe salesman:
“I hate it when she comes in here.”

Beidar Aggertsson, pediatrician:
“Funny story: Due to some dicey record-keeping on my part, she kept coming in until she was 37! I only realized the mistake because my nurse noted how odd it was for a 9-year-old to be pregnant for the second time. When I tried to tell Björk that it was time she saw a grown-up doctor, she refused, saying she was still a child at heart.”

Katrín Hallssonar, produce manager:
“Björk had quite a reputation as an early proponent of the green movement. Years before people started bringing reusable grocery bags, she would pack her groceries into the pouch of a kangaroo. She said transporting sodas was a problem, but that otherwise it was an efficient and adventurous way to move food. When an inexperienced bagging clerk would ask her if she wanted paper or plastic, she’d respond ‘MAMMAL!’”

Steinunn Vilhjálmsson, travel agent:
“As you know, many Icelanders believe in elves. Björk once told me that she doesn’t believe in mystical creatures—her pet unicorn told her there was no such thing.”

Njáll Sumarliðason, cultural anthropologist:
“We are a proud people. Björk may be our most famous citizen, but we are each as special as she, as we ride astride our rainbow ostriches down streets made of chocolate, lit with streetlights powered by dreams. Iceland is full of unique aesthetics and sonic sensibilities. Björk’s just the one with the record deal.”