The Least Sexy "Sexy" Game Trailer Ever Made

It's not like videogame trailers are usually very sexy. I mean, God of War 3's trailer was pretty fundamentally unsexy, from what I remember. Party games usually have it even worse, often resigning themselves to simply showing a few clips of a multicultural group of young JC Penny models laughing and swinging about motion controls at some vague and underpopulated daytime social gathering. So to be honest, I'm thankful for the trailer for Ubisoft's upcoming party game We Dare, simply because it's one of the more ludicrous things I've seen in a good long while.

Behold, four incredibly attractive 30-somethings playing Wii in their living room! But wait, what is this game they're playing? It looks kinda like Wii Sports, but... hey, this seems sexy! There is sexy music playing! They are dangling the Wiimote in between two of them and trying to eat it like an apple! Everyone is laughing creepily! Now the girls are kissing! That girl put the Wiimote in her pants, and there is spanking! My, how creepy their laughter has become!

I'm sure that by now you're thinking what I'm thinking: "Finally, a Wii game for the good-looking 30-something key-party demographic, a.k.a. me."

I've been thinking a lot about controllers lately, how they have changed over the years and how we have evolved alongside them. But regardless of the PC keyboard's power and flexibility, the brilliant design of the Xbox 360 controller, or the as-yet unrealized potential of motion control, I'm fairly certain that the Wiimote isn't rated for this type of input—the thing has a small accelerometer and a laser-tracking system on its end. As far as I know, it does not register kissing particularly well. Sony's Move controller (the game is also being released on PS3) would do a better job, but... wait a minute here, am I really talking about which videogame motion-control system would be best for playing spin the bottle? As a friend pointed out yesterday: "I'm pretty sure you can play the apple kissing game without the Wiimote."

Personally, I think the trailer launches itself past "bad taste" and lands firmly in the realm of "hilarious camp." And it's worth noting that IGN is reporting that the game won't even see release in the United States. (Really? Aw, man.)

We've posted a fair amount of good game trailers over the past few weeks (and allow me to say that while I usually keep my enthusiasm in check when it comes to game trailers, the recent LA Noire and Skyrim trailers have both got me pretty pumped). But when it comes down to it, I'd trade all the glowering swordsmen and slow-mo space-explosions on the internet for a few more trailers as delightfully dumb as the one for We Dare.