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2013 Golden Globes Live Blog

January 13, 2013  |  7:23pm
2013 Golden Globes Live Blog

Join Paste staff and writers tonight as we live-blog the 70th Annual Golden Globes. We’ll kick things off at 8 p.m. EST, so you’ve still got some time to print out your copy of hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s Golden Globes drinking game and peruse our predictions and proclamations in all the major categories.

Be sure to check back here for all the latest on the winners and the broadcast itself.

11:01 p.m.: And that’s a wrap!

11:00 p.m.: Huge upset by Argo. Second missed opportunity to hilariously reference Good Will Hunting. For shame, Ben. (But congrats, though).

10:57 p.m.: Whoa! Best Motion Picture Drama goes to Argo.

10:50 p.m.: Best Actor in a Motion Picture Drama goes to Daniel Day-Lewis for Lincoln. No surprise there.

10:48 p.m.: If you had dry eyes for that Jessica Chastain speech, you might be dead inside.—Michael Dunaway

10:47 p.m.: Best Actress in a Motion Picture Drama goes to Jessica Chastain for Zero Dark Thirty.

10:46 p.m.: Just like the end of Les Mis, the cast of Moonrise Kingdom should have taken to the stage, flags in hand, to take the award they deserved.—Ross Bonaime

10:40 p.m.: Best Motion Picture Comedy or Musical goes to Les Miserables.

10:39 p.m.: Remember when Fey and Poehler were part of this show? I bet they’re in the back, drinking and bad mouthing Will Arnett.—Ross Bonaime

10:29 p.m.: Best Actor in a Motion Picture Comedy or Musical goes to Hugh Jackman for Les Miserables

10:21 p.m.: Best Comedy Series goes to Girls.

10:19 p.m.: Why is Ben Affleck’s acceptance speech not, “Hey Oscars, HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?”

10:17 p.m.: Best Director goes to Ben Affleck for Argo, receives a standing ovation.

10:15 p.m.: The only way Jodie Foster could have looked more insane during that speech is if she did it in the Nell voice.—Ross Bonaime

10:13 p.m.: “Jodie Foster was here. I still am. I want to be seen.” Jodie Foster’s pulling out some next-level crazy in her speech.

10:10 p.m.: This Jodie Foster speech is so, so many things.

10:08 p.m.: “I am not Honey Boo Boo Child.”-Jodie Foster

10:05 p.m: Jodie Foster receives the Lifetime Achievement award and makes a not-very-timely Sally O’Malley reference and comes out as…single.

10:01 p.m.: Taylor now writing very cryptic song called “Mean Girls”.—Evie Nagy

9:58 p.m.: “Congratulations, Lena. I’m glad we got you through middle school.”-Tina Fey

9:57 p.m.: We turned on G Globes just in time to see the enormously gifted performer Lena Dunham win. And her speech was awkward and dull! Perfect!—Jordan Hoffman

9:55 p.m.: I’d like to thank “the writers”—because no one actually knows their names, but yeah, great job writing or whatever—Brendan John Kelly

9:53 p.m.: Someone needs to make a GIF of Amy Poehler snuggling with George Clooney right now.

9:51 p.m.: Best Actress in a Comedy Series goes to Lena Dunham for Girls.

9:49 p.m.: I don’t understand, Brave must be one of those British words that also means something else. It must also mean Wreck-It Ralph, right?—Ross Bonaime

9:46 p.m.: Sacha Baron Cohen roasts his Les Mis castmates and references Anne Hathaway’s upskirt shot before presenting Best Animated Film to Brave.

9:45 p.m.: Hard to believe how poised and together our little Angela Chase has grown up to be!—Michael Dunaway

9:38 p.m.: Lea Michele: ORANGE.—Nick Purdy

9:37 p.m.: Best Actress in a Drama Series goes to Claire Danes for Homeland. Duh.

9:34 p.m.: Best Foreign Film goes to Amour.

9:27 p.m.: Best Actor in a Comedy Series goes to Don Cheadle for House of Lies. Um, OK? Guess no one in the Hollywood Foreign Press saw Louie this season.

9:26 p.m.: Pretty bummed Tarantino didn’t bust out his classiest Wu Wear for tonight’s proceedings.

9:25 p.m.: Tarantino is WASTED.

9:23 p.m.: Quentin Tarantino wins Best Screenplay for Django Unchained.

9:21 p.m.: Can someone work it out so Anne Hathaway and Taylor Swift get some nomination for the same award someday? Thanks.—Evie Nagy

9:16 p.m.: Anne Hathaway opens her acceptance speech with “Blerg.” Aww, nerds!

9:15 p.m.: Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture goes to Anne Hathaway for Les Miserables.

9:13 p.m.: Tina Fey’s Bill Clinton impression was even more realistic than her Sarah Palin.—Josh Jackson

9:12 p.m: Best Supporting Actor in a TV Series, Miniseries or Movie goes to Ed Harris for Game Change.

9:06 p.m.: “Harvey, thank you for killing whoever you had to kill to get me up here today.”-Jennifer Lawrence

9:05 p.m.: Jennifer Lawrence wins Best Actress in a Comedy or Musical for Silver Linings Playbook.

9:04 p.m.: Will Ferrell’s mustache deserves an award.

9:03 p.m.: “Judi Dench, where did SHE come from??”-Will Ferrell

9:02 p.m.: Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig enter doing the Taylor Swift surprise face. It is wonderful.

9 p.m.: Jesus wouldn’t get as big a hand as The Big Dog from this room.—Nick Purdy

8:59 p.m.: Whoa, that’s not a bit, it’s the real Bill Clinton!

8:56 p.m.: I guarantee you, Dog President is MUCH better than Hatfield & McCoysRoss Bonaime

8:55 p.m.: Best Actor in a Miniseries or Movie goes to Kevin Costner for Hatfields and McCoys. Damien Francisco (Dog President) was robbed.

8:50 p.m.: That cut to Jon Bon Jovi after Adele said “pissing ourselves laughing” forgives all previous production snafus.—Evie Nagy

8:49 p.m.: And she does. And she’s delightful: “We’ve been pissing ourselves laughing.”

8:47 p.m.: If Adele doesn’t win Best Original Song for “Skyfall,” heads will roll.

8:43 p.m.: Pretty cool that the real Tony Mendez is there. He looks nothing like Ben Affleck though.

8:41 p.m.: And, there’s already a Darcy St. Fudge Twitter account. Good job, Internet: https://twitter.com/darcystfudge

8:40 p.m.: The Homeland producers are apparently unfamiliar with the term “spoiler alert.”

8:36 p.m.: Steve Buscemi should be nominated for best female in a comedy series next year for Thursday’s episode of 30 Rock.—Ross Bonaime

8:35 p.m.: Best Drama Series goes to Homeland. No surprise there.

8:34 p.m.: Damian Lewis wins Best Actor in a Drama Series for Homeland.

8:31 p.m.: Props to the HFPA for making the eye-rolling annual benediction at least a stab at funny, rather than self-important.—Nick Purdy

8:30 p.m.: For real though, “Darcy St. Fudge in ‘Dog President’” sounds like it was culled from a lost Christopher Guest notebook.—Lindsay Eanet

8:29 p.m.: Will the cameras please scan the room….no? Nope? OK, cool.

8:23 p.m.: Has Catherine Zeta-Jones’ accent…changed somehow?

8:22 p.m.: Julianne Moore wins for Game Change while Amy Poehler sports a hilarious red wig.

8:17 p.m.: Best TV Miniseries or Movie goes to Game Change.

8:13 p.m.: Maggie Smith can’t come to any award shows on Sundays. She still has no idea what a weekend is.—Ross Bonaime

8:12 p.m.: Best Supporting Actress in a TV show goes to Maggie Smith. Dowager Countess for life!!

8:09 p.m.: “THAT’S A BINGO!” —How I always want Christoph Waltz to accept every award he wins.—Ross Bonaime

8:08 p.m.: Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture goes to Christoph Waltz for Django Unchained

8:05 p.m.: “Quentin Tarantino is here, the star of my sexual nightmares.”-Tina Fey

8:03 p.m.: “I haven’t been keeping track of the controversy, but when it comes to torture, I trust the woman who was married to James Cameron for three years.”-Amy Poehler with the night’s first real zinger.

8:01 p.m.: Bill Murray way ahead on facial hair. First award goes to those lambchops slash megastache.—Nick Purdy

8 p.m.: Aaaaaand we’re off!

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