Musicians have done some truly strange things over the years to promote their work. Even then, offering a romantic date is still about as unorthodox as you can get.
Yet, that’s exactly what guitar virtuoso Marnie Stern plans to do in conjunction with the release of her new album, The Chronicles of Marnia, from Kill Rock Stars label.
In a press release, Stern’s representatives offers details for how to win an all expense paid date with the musician on the occasion of her album’s March 19 launch date.
The opening paragraph reads as follows:
“Hipster guys, are you tired of seeing Marnie Stern have relationships with an endless array of losers and bores? Don’t you think a guitarist as great as Marnie should have someone special to watch Law and Order SVU with? Do you enjoy petting dogs while eating chicken wings? And honestly, don’t you think a nice, positively cute, 30-something Jewish girl should meet the man of her dreams? We sure do!”
While the contest stipulates that “age, religion and race” are, of course, not an issue, the winning contestant apparently must live in New York City and should not be “a total creep/stalker.” Also, “a sense of humor is critical.”
Stern’s “ideal man” is a “homebody who doesn’t mind that his girlfriend is out of town on tour a lot, and is not a drug addict, a slacker, or a vegan.”
The winner will be chosen by Stern’s record label and publicists.
Interested? If so, applications can be sent to email@example.com. Application questions include the following:
Are you gainfully employed? Elaborate.
When/how long was your last relationship?
What are your hobbies/interests?
What qualities do you most enjoy in a woman?
List any anti-depressants you currently take:
What do you know about Marnie and why do you want to date her?
What would your most recent ex-girlfriend say about you? Can we get her email?
Where would you take Marnie on a first date and why?