Modern Family: “Fulgencio” (Episode 4.13)

If Modern Family was taking two steps forward and one step back, at least we would be getting somewhere … slowly, but somewhere. Instead we get a leap forward, 10 steps back and an occasional meet in the middle. Last week’s “Party Crasher” took great strides forward; this week, we got “Fulgencio,” which was as bad as the name Fulgencio.

Gloria’s mother, Pilar, and sister, Sonia, are visiting from Colombia for the baby’s christening. In most episodes, Gloria’s typical Colombian, I-lived-in-a-village jokes are tolerable because they’re few and far between. A whole episode of it from three women was not tolerable or funny in the slightest. Example: her sister asks where the garden is and wants to wash her clothes in the river—just because the woman is from a developing country does not mean she’s an idiot.

The mom’s main role in the episode is to play the female version of Jay. She wants to name the baby after her husband, Fulgencio Umberto. (Is that Gloria’s father? It wasn’t clear.) When Jay tries to talk to her truthfully about his hatred of the name, she reveals that she has never liked him. And then he realizes he’s a Phil son-in-law.

As the baby’s godparent, Phil prepares for the christening by getting into Godfather mode. He tries to solve his kids’ problems with hugs and kindness. When that backfires, he goes full mafia. The only noteworthy moment from this storyline is Luke saying a curse word during a confessional. (Have we heard that before?)

Cam and Mitchell are undergoing attitude makeovers because Lily has been too sassy, and they want to influence her positively. There’s something about a friend’s birthday party involved, but linking those two situations was quite a stretch. At the christening, they discover that Lily is learning her sassiness from her Aunt Claire.