According to a recent study published in the British Journal of Medicine, James Bond drank martinis at an alarming rate. Liver specialists at Nottingham University spent a year studying Ian Fleming’s James Bond books to determine exactly how much the international super spy drank.
The research reveals that over the course of 14 novels, Bond drank an average of 45 drinks a week, roughly six to seven martinis a day.
Let that settle in. Seven martinis a day.
In a BBC article about the study, a variety of experts detail the physical and mental limitations of that sort of drinking habit. If Bond maintained that average daily alcohol consumption, he wouldn’t be able to remember all the names of his girlfriends, punch in bomb codes, or wrestle Jaws. And let’s say he survived that drunk tussle with Jaws, the doctors behind the study say Bond would certainly suffer from liver damage, an early death, and most likely impotence.
Over the course of the 14 novels, Ian Fleming only gave Bond 13 alcohol free days. His biggest bender was in From Russia With Love, when Bond drank 50 units of alcohol in a single day. His heaviest drinking overall occurs in the book,You Only Live Twice, when Bond was reeling from the recent loss of his wife.
“The level of functioning as displayed in the books is inconsistent with the physical, mental, and indeed sexual functioning expected from someone drinking this much alcohol,” the doctors told the BBC.
I just hope no scientists decide to dissect The Dude’s drinking habits in The Big Lebowski. Now, excuse me while I go reexamine all of my role models.