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TV  |  Reviews

Intelligence Review: “Size Matters” (Episode 1.07)

February 18, 2014  |  1:41pm
<i>Intelligence</i> Review: &#8220;Size Matters&#8221; (Episode 1.07)

Since the last episode of Intelligence, I’ve been dreaming up what kind of TV show Josh Holloway should be on. If I were in charge of his career (and his dimples!), I would have him do a guest arc on a cool show like AMC’s The Walking Dead or FX’s The Americans. The guest arc would, of course, be critically acclaimed and would launch him into headlining a cool, hip cable show of his very own.

I comfort myself with these career fantasies as I watch Intelligence, which continues to squander Holloway’s considerable talent and charisma. I’m telling you, I watch a lot of TV, and talent like Holloway’s doesn’t come across your DVR every day.

I don’t know if it’s because Tommy Dewey plays the smarmy Josh on The Mindy Project, but I was immediately suspicious of his Bryce Tyler. I mean, everyone knows that any target of serial killer who lives is a suspect, right? The show lacks any kind of intrigue if I’m able to solve the crime within the first 15 minutes.

And, man, is Cyber Command bad at keeping Gabriel’s secret a secret. If Gabriel truly is the government’s biggest clandestine operation, why does the team constantly let unauthorized people watch Gabriel in action? Why does Gabriel do nothing to hide his skill? I honestly use more security and intrigue to hide Christmas presents from my three-year-old.

The big theme, if you can call it that, which was explored in this episode is the idea that Gabriel is a monster and the technology embedded in his head makes him less human. “Trust me when I tell you this. Frankenstein’s monster will walk among us,” crazy tech recluse Gordon Greyson tells him. “It’d be nice to come in on a Monday morning and not know what you did all weekend,” Gabriel laments to Riley. But can’t Gabriel just decide not to access that information? To not check in on where and when Riley is accessing her email? Is the chip making him a monster? Or is he making himself one?

Dr. Shenandoah Cassidy’s life was also in danger in this episode. But here’s the thing—I never for one second thought he would actually die. That’s partly due to the structure of the show (this just isn’t the type of show where characters in the opening credits don’t make it) and partly due to the fact that you don’t get John Billingsley on your show and then kill him off. But whatever the cause, there was no dramatic tension to that moment. There was just all the characters standing around Dr. Cassidy with grim looks on their faces.

Which is kind of the look on my face while I watch the show.

Other thoughts on “Size Matters”:
—There wasn’t a shot of Gabriel in his skivvies this week. I’m not going to lie to you. I missed it.
—On the plus side this week, there was a lack of inappropriate flirting between Gabriel and Riley.
—Again with the gloves to protect themselves from a killer virus? Do we need to start a kickstarter campaign to get them hazmat suits?
—Very excited to see David Marciano, the fabulous Virgil on Homeland as tech recluse Gordon Greyson.
—Seriously, they have to give Michael Rady more to do. I demand it.
—Nice effort on the episode title this week.

Amy Amatangelo is a Boston-based freelance writer and a regular contributor to Paste. You can follow her on Twitter or her blog.

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