Television writers have dreamed up some wild libations for their characters over the years. While we’d all like to have a pint of Duff at Moe’s or sip on some MacCutcheon 60 year with Desmond on the Island, there’s no real mystery to what beer or scotch is going to taste like. No, the real fun is in the cocktails. So here are six made up TV cocktails we really want to try.
1. The Flaming Moe
The Simpsons
Invented by Homer in a moment of desperate improvisation, the cocktail rocketed Moe Szyslak to stardom when he stole the recipe for his bar. While the recipe, which includes Krusty brand cough syrup among other dubious ingredients, looks undrinkable, we do know that “fire made it good.” You can judge for yourself at Universal Studios where the theme park’s Springfield attraction features a Moe’s Tavern that serves a nonalcoholic version of the cocktail.
2. Snake Juice
Parks and Recreation
Tom Haverford (Aziz Ansari) had numerous failed attempts at moguldom over the years, but none were as much fun to watch as the launch of his “high-end Kahlúa-style liquor” called Snake Juice. The recipe — according to Tom, he “mixed a bunch of alcohol together, added some sugar and coffee and some other junk” — may be noxious, but there’s no disputing the results: Snake Juice will get your turnt.
3. Samarian Sunset
Star Trek: The Next Generation
This colorful cocktail was a favorite at Guinan’s Ten Forward bar.
Champipple
Sandford and Son
The Kir Royale of Central Ave, this mixture of ginger ale (sometimes champagne) and Ripple fortified wine was Fred Sandford’s drink of choice.
Black Yukon Sucker Punch
Twin Peaks
Like most things in Twin Peaks, the ingredients in Judge Sternwood’s cocktail of choice remain a mystery. But that hasn’t stopped fans from attempting to make their own versions of this ethereal, split-level drink. (You can easily find a bunch of recipes online.) Just be careful. As the judge says, this one will sneak up on you.
Screaming Viking
Cheers
On a list of fictional drinks, the Screaming Viking holds the distinction of being the most fictitious. Made up as a ruse to get rid of a new bartender and save Woody’s job, Norm and the gang order up a round causing the flummoxed barkeep to quit immediately. As for the recipe, all we know is that it contains a slightly bruised cucumber. But judging by the gang’s reactions, the end product doesn’t look all that appealing. Still, taking a sip is worth it just to be in on the joke.
Jim Sabataso is a writer, part-time bartender, and full-time cocktail enthusiast living in Vermont. Follow him on Twitter @JimSabataso>