The sort of doofus-ensemble comedy one might expect from the Broken Lizard troupe, Lazer Team charts the exploits of four clownish acquaintances tasked with saving the world from an alien invasion with the help of an extraterrestrial super-suit. Humanity was notified about the arrival of that weaponized get-up decades ago, thus compelling the military to raise and train a soldier named Adam (Alan Ritchson) capable of harnessing its power. Before that would-be hero can get ahold of it, however, loser sheriff Hagan (Burnie Burns), his boozy former high school football teammate Herman (Colton Dunn), Herman’s mulleted friend Woody (Gavin Free) and teenage quarterback Zach (Michael Jones)—who wants to date Hagan’s sexpot daughter Mindy (Allie DeBerry)—accidentally set off a firework that downs the ship transporting the suit to a nearby Texas army base. Investigating the crash scene, they find the armor and, like the morons that they are, try on its various parts—thus transforming into the unlikely Champions of Earth.
The problem with this quartet’s newly heroic status is that each of them is equipped with only one component of a techno-outfit meant to be worn by a single individual: Hagan boasts a glove featuring an energy shield; Zach wears another glove decked out with a laser blaster; Herman sports boots that give him super-speed; and Woody is equipped with a helmet that bestows him with enhanced intelligence—meaning he now speaks in an erudite British accent. Such silliness is part and parcel of Lazer Team’s humor, which primarily involves its characters spending copious time bickering amongst themselves, as well as complaining about, and trying their best to extricate themselves from, their planetary-savior duties.
Director Matt Hullum (founder of Rooster Teeth Productions, which crafts films through real-time video game environments) shoots his saga with just enough Michael Bay-esque panache to position it as a competent spoof of its action-spectacular brethren. From momentous close-ups to vistas of silhouetted military vehicles at sunset, Lazer Team boasts a tongue-in-cheek gung-ho aesthetic amplified by charmingly low-budget CG effects. Hullum’s jokey, digitally enhanced style sometimes comes across as too self-consciously pleased with its own chintziness. Yet, melding the sci-fi cheesiness of ’80s efforts like Invaders From Mars with the mismatched-buddies ludicrousness of modern comedies like The Watch, Hullum’s film exudes labor-of-love affection for B-movies in which intergalactic travelers are potential harbingers of doom for the human race.
As befitting a project that throws lots of sarcastic and/or vulgar jokes at the screen in the hope that a few will stick, Lazer Team’s one-liners are occasionally amusing, as when Zach expresses uncertainty about wanting to save the world because, after all, “there are a lot of jackasses.” Hullum’s cast is likeable and well-matched, with his four leads—as well as the chiseled Ritchson, whose Adam wants the suit’s parts cut off of these bozos so he can use them to fulfill his destiny—exhibiting a suitably ridiculous chemistry. Unfortunately, though, they’re too often stuck overacting in scenes that go on for far too long, or are generally unnecessary to the plot. For a goofy lark, the film overstays its welcome by at least 20 minutes, the effect being that it can never sustain its momentum for any prolonged period of time.
After battling against Mindy and a squad of soldiers, all of whom have been possessed by evil alien technology, as well as escaping army-base imprisonment, the Lazer Team (so dubbed by dim-witted Zach in a Facebook post that goes viral) make their way to a football stadium to face off against a giant cat-man villain in a battle during which Hagan and Herman resolve their old gridiron-related grievances. Alas, like too many of the preceding set pieces, this climax is unduly protracted, its slapstick-y nonsense stretched so painfully thin that the proceedings venture perilously close to becoming little more than a superpowered slog.
Director: Matt Hullum
Writer: Burnie Burns, Chris Demarais, Josh Flanagan, Matt Hullum
Starring Burnie Burns, Gavin Free, Michael Jones, Colton Dunn, Allie DeBerry, Alan Ritchson
Release Date: January 27, 2016