Parents with young daughters (or tea party-loving, historically-minded sons) are already familiar with the American Girl brand, which has clawed its way to the top of Hobbesian wasteland that is the pretty dolly market. But to explain the phenomenon for the rest of us, Conan O’Brien recently stopped by the miniature giant’s Los Angeles store where he maybe, just maybe, had a bit too much to drink.
After going on a tour of American Girl’s questionably homicide-free version of our nation’s history, the talk show host was taken to the American Girl Cafe, which helpfully offers your choice of both wine and companionship. Conan ended up going with “chardonnay, the whole bottle” and “Agnes Schweitzhoffer,” the only American Girl doll possibly hiding a terrible National Socialist past. And that’s when things get a little weird.
Check it out, and have your dreams forever haunted by Conan’s creepy doll voice: