CMJ 2008, Day 3: Juliana Hatfield @ Housing Works Bookstore

Festivus

If you ever wondered where singer/songwriter Juliana Hatfield honed the inspiration to write the lyrics that compose her introspective, expansive discography, her new memoir, When I Grow Up, provides more than few intimate clues. Recently released along with her latest album, How to Walk Way, the book poignantly depicts the 90s alt-rock pioneer's battles with personal insecurity as she grew into her musical career.

During this year's CMJ Music Marathon, Hatfield read excerpts from When I Grow Up and played songs to an enthusiastic audience at Housing Works Bookstore in Soho. She spoke about such childhood memories as the growing unhappiness in her parents’ marriage, her mother's brief abandonment and her father's tendency towards violence.

Hatfield also spoke of her own romantic relationships, often just as convoluted and complex as her parents', in addition to her history of depression and panic attacks. But the evening wasn't entirely somber, as she sprinkled in anectdotes, like the one about the time she had to pee in a cup before performing at a venue that completely lacked both toilets and sinks.

In between readings, Hatfield performed several songs from the new album, including such as “The Fact Remains,” “Shining On,” and the haunting “So Alone.” She threw in a few old numbers such as “My Sister” and “Waiting for Heaven," and tried to conclude the set with the hopeful “I Picked You Up” before being persuaded by audience members to perform an encore of “On Your Mind.”

Witnessing Hatfield tell such intimate details from her dramatic life provided a rare perspective into her songwriting and inspiration, and showed how an empowered individual managed her insecurity and trauma to embrace her dreams and flourish-- insufficient plumbing be damned.