[Above: Samantha Baker's birthday ended happily in
Sixteen Candles, but overall was a classic mess.
Today is my birthday! Even though I plan on having a great day (The Everybodyfields
last night, Of Montreal
tonight, plus the church across the street from my apartment is having a huge yard sale today! I love yard sales!), I've had a few crappy birthdays in the past. But who hasn't? People who don't have birthdays, that's who. And those people are not alive people. So thank your lucky stars that you are an alive person having a birthday. Even if it's a crappy one, it's probably not as crappy as any of these, my Top 7 Worst Movie Birthdays Ever.
(Warning: If you haven't seen some of the movies on the list, the descriptions of the crappy birthdays therein may provide some spoiler information, so reader beware.)
Charlie's in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971)
The gift of a Wonka bar was a huge splurge for Charlie's dirt-poor family, but it was more than just a piece of candy: It was a chance for something better, something great, to happen in his life, and Grandpa Joe was sure there was a much-coveted Golden Ticket tucked inside. There wasn't, but Charlie pretended for a moment that there was, and the rapid shift from his family's utter jubilation to crushing disappointment as he quickly reveals the truth is heartbreaking-- and makes his eventual triumph that much more sweet. (Skip to 4:02 in the clip above to see that part.)