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Weird smells, non-verbal communication and other peoples' feces kind of freak me out, so I'm not the biggest fan of babies. Babies' one redeeming quality, so far as I can see, is their collective capacity for unbridled cuteness. If I don't have to hold them while such cuteness is happening, all the better! This makes album covers featuring babies especially ideal: You get the best part of the babies without actually having to be in the same room as them! And you get music! Bonus. There are a whole lot of album covers featuring babies (here is an incredibly comprehensive list), many of which are not actually all that cute, but here are ten that totally are.
(Note: Nirvana's Nevermind was disqualified for sheer over-exposure-- of the album cover, not the baby's you-know-what-- and also because, eh, only moderately adorable.)
James - Hey Ma
Don't worry, his motor skills are really unrefined.
Lil Wayne - Tha Carter III
And to think, you howled when you got your MMR vaccine. Baby Weezy's so badass, the only tears on his face are tattoos.
Morrissey - Years of Refusal
This little guy is so freaking adorable, he wouldn't even have to say "please please please" to get what he wants.
The Notorious B.I.G. - Ready to Die
Thanks to the rapper's untimely death, this is now one notorious B.A.B.Y.
Paul Kanter & Grace Slick - Sunfighter
Well, if she'd been wearing a diaper, maybe you wouldn't be drowning in pee right now.
Radiohead - Pablo Honey
Ahh, the splendor of youth-- flowers, cupcakes! Then comes the crushing paranoia and preoccupation with the digitization of humanity. Enjoy it while it lasts, babe.
Shakira - Oral Fixation, Vol. 2
"Hips don't lie-- I know, I know. And neither will my barf in your hair, when you won't GIMME THAT DAMN APPLE, WOMAN."
The Cure - Galore
Runny ice cream one day, runny eye-liner the next. They grow up so fast!
The Game - Doctor's Advocate
"And when I turn three, I'm gettin' a grill!"
Thirty Odd Foot Of Grunts - Bastard Life or Clarity
Welcome to the world, little one. Russell Crowe has a band, that band has an album, and you're on the cover!
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B.O.B. - Put Me On
Punch Brothers - Punch Brothers at CMJ
Anya Marina - Whatever You Like
Nevermind - Nirvana?
I'm guessing they felt that was too easy.
...or the writer just got out of highschool.
From the introduction, folks:
"(Note: Nirvana's Nevermind was disqualified for sheer over-exposure-- of the album cover, not the baby's you-know-what-- and also because, eh, only moderately adorable.)"
Van Halen - 1984?
I'm glad Nirvana didn't get the cliche #1.
Hey folks - FYI: That kid on the cover of Sunfighter whom you refer to as a "he" is not a "he" -- she's Kantner and Slick's daughter China, who went on to become an MTV VJ in the '80s and later appeared in films and TV sitcoms.
Nice factoid, Mark! Just fixed the gender.
i love the james commentary.
Black Sabbath - Born Again
Sooooo cute!