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Three things you should know, if, by some chance, you mercifully live in a world where you've never heard of any of this stuff:
"Insane Clown Posse is an American hip-hop duo from Detroit, Michigan."
"Juggalo is a name given to fans of Insane Clown Posse."
"The Gathering of the Juggalos is an annual event for the Juggalo Family
put on by Psychopathic Records first staged in July 2000."
Juggalos are as interesting as any sub-culture of the world. How there isn't a compelling book or ridiculously watchable documentary already out about these folks blows my mind. Surely it's on the way. For now, the 14-minute video above, hyping their 2009 Gathering (Aug 6-9), will have to do. Here are probably way too many reasons (with timestamps) why you should watch it:
1. (0:07) Right off the bat, like any good infomercial, we get unsubstantiated claims. The first? Our announcer calls The Gathering "THE MOST CONTROVERSIAL MUSIC FESTIVAL IN THE WORLD!"
2. (0:18) Cave-in-Rock, Illinois! I grew up about a half hour south of Springfield and have never heard of this incredibly-named city, but it sure sounds like as good a place as any to host The Gathering.
3. (0:33) "If you've never been to The Gathering, this is the motherfucking year to go, bitch boy." This announcer is unbelievable. He berates me, and yet, I want more.
4. (0:45) In his description of what it's like to attend The Gathering, ICP member Violent J—who literally phones it in—uses the words "magic," "energy," and "feel" or "feeling" nine times total before comparing The Gathering to what it's like for "Muslims to visit the holy land of Mecca."
5. (1:35) Wrestling! Music! Crowds! Face paint! More wrestling! That's right, folks: Montage!
6. (2:19) Meet our infomercial's hosts, DJ Clay and Sugar Slam. Together, they have the chemistry of a box of hair.
7. (2:45) "Ninjas can expect to hear brand-new material off ICP's up-and-coming album, Bang Pow Boom." You had me at "ninjas."
8. (3:19) I'll be the first to admit I don't have a vast knowledge of ICP and its genre peers, but an apparent pre-requisite to joining the Pyschopathic Records roster is that you wear terrifying, clown-inspired corpsepaint.
9. (4:23) The Psycophatic Rydas' set will be "super," "late night," "rare" and "special." Phew.
10. (4:55) Wait, Ice Cube is gonna be there? Really? "That's just the greatest news we've heard thus far." Agreed.
11. (5:16) GWAR! This keeps getting better.
12. (5:35) Coolio! Cue "Gangsta's Paradise" video clip. If I were a betting man, I'd put money on the fact that Michelle Pfeiffer has no idea that she has even a tangential association with Insane Clown Posse.
13. (5:48) Sugar Slam has a very specific way of emphasizing acts that are pretty obviously not exactly marquee material: she says the act's name a second time, only harder. Example: "You know who else? Mushroomhead. Mushroomhead! You know they're gonna be making the floor shake!"
14. (5:56) "What about Scarface? How dope is that?" Answer: More dope than Mushroomhead.
15. (6:08) Vanilla Ice! Alas, Robert Van Winkle gets no further introduction and no emphasized re-naming.
16. (6:41) The announcer breaks in, in an apparent attempt to trick the viewer into thinking this is some kind of live broadcast. The "JUST ADDED NOW" list includes MC Chris, some guy from D12 and a dude called, wait for it, Paradime.
17. (7:15) "OVER 120 MUSICAL ACTS" over the course of four days! Explain to me how this didn't make it into the Paste summer festival guide.
18. (7:26) But that's not all! "Everywhere you look, there's some different shit popping off," Sugar Slam informs. "Expect the unexpected," DJ Clay elaborates. Human cannonball! Freestyle motorcross shows! Love train hayrides! Inflatable games! Carnival rides! Midway games! Live radio broadcasts! Dudes on stilts! Ninjas jugglin' fire! At The Gathering, the hits simply do not stop.
19. (8:35) "Plus, deep in the woods..." Late night comedy hosted by Upchuck the Clown! Pauly Shore, Rowdy Roddy Piper and Jimmy "JJ" Walker are included in the lineup. So that's what Pauly Shore is doing these days.
20. (9:18) Hog Daddy's Giant Hellfire of Death!
21. (9:22) "Magicians and hypnotists walking around that bitch."
22. (9:28) Shaggy 2 Dope's threeway DJ battle is "not really a battle. It's more like a showcase of skill. A rare demonstration of devastation, if you will." I most definitely will.
23. (10:09) "Calling all fat kids: It's time to get paid."
24. (10:46) "And for those of us who enjoy late-night violence..." Oh, good, finally.
25. (11:03) Oddball wrestling! On barbed wire, broken glass, thumb tacks and more. Midgets, too. The Gathering really has it all.
26. (11:55) Following the introduction of redneck wrestler Tracy Smothers, DJ Clay editorializes just a bit: "I hate that motherfucker."
27. (12:14) Ladies and gentlemen, Butterbean! And here you thought he had been out of work since the Jackass movie.
28. (12:42) "And for all you hungry asses out there, yes we have food, and plenty of it, all over that bitch." Good to know.
29. (13:19) "Expect the unexpected." Worth reiterating.
30. (13:49) One final note: "And there's a lot of sex in the air, too. Don't doubt it." You stay classy, The Gathering.
Published at 7:00 AM on July 25, 2009
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If I were writing this, it would have been 130 reasons, because I would have to mention Violent J's Beach Boys BBQ Bash Blast the Third My Nerd featuring Live Surf Music from a band called the Beach Bums 100 times. Ice cold Faygo? MMM THAT'S GOOD.
Also I like the part where Sweet Suga Slam and DJ Clay are mentioning the many and varied amenities of the park: water, first air, food, outhouses. When they said outhouses, that was when I knew for sure that I was selling my Lollapalooza ticket and hitch-hiking downstate.
That's the spirit, Sarah! Juggalos forever.
Wow, I was already expecting the unexpected... but now I'm doing it doubly!
Also: wow in general.
My girlfriend in the background as I'm watching this video..."I haven't heard from of any these groups since 1998."
Did Violent J say that people clean each other there?
If I'm not a fat kid, can I still get paid?
And that was a pretty crowded Love Train Hay Ride. Combine that with all the sex in the air...gonna be a lot of unborn juggalos leaving Cave-in-Rock. It's a beautiful thing.
IC FUCKING P IS IN THE HOUSE.
There is a documentary, ninja.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2221936056512486735
I hope you don't have anything to do for the next hour.
Wow, im impressed with how much jwunder doesnt catch the sarcasm in the comments here. There is a make-shift documentary call "A Family Underground" that was recorded at last years gathering. Theres hardly ever that much "sex in the air", or sex, at the gathering. Unless a dude brings his own girl with him. Id say about 20-30 guys get laid with out bringing there girl with them. I must say with the lack of enthusiasm with the 2 host and the announcer the gathering seems like it would be pretty boring. Its not nearly as shitty as the previously mentioned trio are.
Thanks, ljwunder! Not only is it a documentary, but it's a "shockumentary," according to its title. Ha. Alas, the fact that there's an Island Records logo flashed proudly at the beginning leads me to believe it's promotional propaganda. However, I will look around for "A Family Underground." Thanks to you too, DJ Dirty Boy.
I like Sweet Sugar Slam's Midwest accent mingled with unmasked boredom. Where did they get this girl? My community college math class?
Forget the music, I just want to see dudes wresting over broken glass and thumbtacks. At least they'll be able to get some first aid afterward.
please dear god tell me this is a joke, or at least a lure for spay/neuter?
Yeah!! Who needs the boring, mediocre music of Josh Rouse, The Weepies, or Iron & Wine when you have the asskicking, powerful sounds of Insane Clown Posse!! Juggalo Homie for Lyfe y'all!
SARCASM OVERLOAD
SARCASM OVERLOAD
...but seriously if you don't listen to those three artists I just mentioned, then you need to now!
Is it bad that I would totally want to work the medic tent at an event like this?
Also, doesn't any one else want to give Sweet Sugar Slam one of those "Is someone you love hurting you?" crisis hotline cards like they have in restrooms at gas stations? Because I think she's being forced to do this...
0:35
"This is the motherfucking year to go bitchboy!"
That's the greatest!
Just thought I would post here to the writer that says he has never heard of the town. The gathering is hosted on a big farm on the ohio river that also hosts several motorcycle rallys throughout the year http://www.hogrock.com/home.htm
"Dudes on Stilts", yeah, that is what sold me.
Sugar Slam sounds like an HGTV host. "And for all you hungry asses out there..." will the seller accept Bob and Sally's purchase offer, or will Bob and Sally have to keep looking for their dream home?