10 Unique, Funny or Useful Twitter Users You Should Follow Right Now

Oh, hello. I'm @austinlouisray, and I'm here to steal an idea from @joshjackson, editor-in-chief of @PasteMagazine. He's been doing a rather stand-up job of laying the groundwork of what will eventually become the all-encompassing, ridiculously-comprehensive and unendingly-entertaining Paste Guide to Twitter, so far covering musicians, charities, comedians and much more.

I like Twitter. Really, I do. But the thing I don't like about it, and this goes for pretty much any social-networking service out there, is the forum it provides for boring people to say pointless, navel-gazing things like "I'm eating a sandwich" or "I'm soooooo tired," etc. You know who you are, pointless Twitter users, and I can't, in good conscience, follow you.

However, there are plenty of unique, funny and useful Twitter users out there. Twitter users with a point. Twitter users you should follow right now. Here are but 10 of them:

1. Justin - shitmydadsays
In which Justin, who lives with his dad, Sam, periodically posts the funny/grumpy stuff his 73-year-old father says. At the time of this writing, he has over 250,000 followers and less than 30 tweets total. He'll probably have a book deal soon.
Unique, Funny or Useful: Funny
Best Recent Tweet: "It's just a fucking june bug, calm down. Jesus Christ, what happens when something bigger than a testicle attacks you?"
Runner Up: "Who is this woman?....Kate Beckinsale? Well, you can tell Kate Beckinsale she sucks."

2. Food Porn - FoodPorn
In which someone from Chicago posts huge, gorgeous photos of food that will make your lunch look utterly disappointing. "Because we all have a little fat guy living inside of us!"
Unique, Funny or Useful: Useful, Unique
Best Recent Tweet: Pasta w/ Kielbasa, Corn, Peppers in a White Wine & Butter sauce: http://bit.ly/yg1nY Let it all hang out after eating this!
Runner Up: Sliders! Made at home w/ Seasoned Ground Beef, Cheese & Grilled Onions: http://bit.ly/fCljS CIY - Chub It Yourself!

3. Hobo Jones - hobojones
In which a fictitious and adventurous homeless fella (created by a couple guys who also have a sketch-comedy podcast called The Maniacal Rage) shares his tales (many of which involve dead animals) with the internet.
Unique, Funny or Useful: Funny
Best Recent Tweet: Chewin' the fat with a dead racoon. Well, alright, chewin' dead racoon fat.
Runner Up: At the Tumblr party drunk as a string bean in a corn husk. Beans!

4. Arjun Basu - arjunbasu
In which a Montreal-based author/editor/traveler/husband/dad/foodie creates 140-character short stories he calls "Twisters."
Unique, Funny or Useful: Unique
Best Recent Tweet: He says "I work in an ad agency" the way some guys might say "I have a ten inch penis" except that he didn't. He knew he had a brand problem
Runner Up: It was the kind of town where the best Thai restaurants were in strip malls. That's where they found the mayor. Drowned in a vat of tom yum.

5. Father Kelly - FatherKelly
In which someone in Chester County, Pa. pretends to be a Catholic priest to make religion-themed jokes.
Unique, Funny or Useful: Funny
Best Recent Tweet: A Carnie asked me to bless him. I panicked and said "Uhh..let me go get my magic wand". Then I avoided him.
Runner Up: This is BULLSHIT! I wasn't LEARING at Sister Anne while she was eating that banana! I just happened to be in stare mode!
Extra Credit: The CCD nerds gave me some "art" made from dry macaroni and yarn. Helloooo trashcan.

6. 1000 Times Yes - 1000TimesYes
In which Christopher R. Weingarten, former editor-in-chief of Paper Thin Walls (RIP) and contributor to RollingStone.com, the Village Voice and Idolator, attempts to review 1,000 albums (often within days of their leaking to the internet, release dates be damned) on Twitter in a year's time. In June, he delivered an entertaining speech at the 140 Characters Conference in New York.
Unique, Funny or Useful: Unique, Useful
Best Recent Tweet: 623)Baroness/Blue Record: Heavy metal's Arcade Fire chooses Mastodonic prog-noodle over monster hooks.#6
Runner Up: 614)Jay-Z/The Blueprint 3: Rap's U2 releases his awkward "Pop" album—just trade "electronica" for "rapping like Kanye."#5

7. ME BIGFOOT - MEBIGFOOT
In which, well, look at the username above, then read this bio: "ME LIVE IN WOODS AND ENJOY ELUSIVE LIFESTYLE." Hasn't updated since early June, and it's kind of a one-joke pony, but still probably worth a browse.
Unique, Funny or Useful: Funny
Best Recent Tweet: ON PHONE WITH JURY DUTY PEOPLE. THEY TELLING ME "SASQUATCH" IS NOT A VALID EXCUSE. ME ASK TO SPEAK TO SUPERVISOR.
Runner Up: FIRST ME REJECTED BY J-DATE, NOW E-HARMONY. *SIGH* ME GUESS THERE ALWAYS CRAIGSLIST -- BUT SO MANY WEIRDOS.
Extra Credit: The replies to followers are often as funny or funnier than the original tweets.

8. The Rules - therules
In which someone from New York City delivers little bits of wisdom. Equals parts Jack Handy and advice columnist, delivered with completely random, out-of-order numbers.
Unique, Funny or Useful: Funny, Useful
Best Recent Tweet: Rule No. 376: Bed and breakfasts require more socializing than either "bed" or "breakfast" would imply.
Runner Up: Rule No. 881: The more sensitive the singer-songwriter, the balder the crowd.

9. Steve Roommate: shhdonttellsteve
In which someone who lives with a guy named Steve posts what he (Steve) is doing at all times. Come for the weirdness and occasional humor, stay once you realize the story line is better than most television shows.
Unique, Funny or Useful: Unique, Funny
Best Recent Tweet: Steve keeps referring to the death of DJ A.M. but pronounces it DJ am (as in I am Steve) I haven't corrected him.
Runner Up: Sweaty Rick answered door in bathrobe and a youngish looking girl was stoned on his couch. His place feels like that scene in Boogie Nights.

10. mark_e_smith - mark_e_smith
In which someone affects the vocal singing tic of the lead singer of The Fall-uh, then uses it to write about every-day things on Twitter-uh. Kinda inside baseball-ish, but if you like the band-uh, it's kinda genius also-uh.
Unique, Funny or Useful: Unique, Funny
Best Recent Tweet: Pizza in the morning-uh! Pizza in the evening-uh! Pizza at supper time-uh! http://tiny.cc/taeJR Thanks Terre T & freemusicarchive.org -uh
Runner Up: I care about-uh climate change too-uh Thom Yorke-uh. For the kids-uh I'll someday never have-uh!

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Now it's your turn. Let me know in the comments which unique, funny and useful Twitter users I missed.

Related Links:
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10 Filmmakers to Follow on Twitter
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