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Paste prides itself on the embrace of signs of life in music, movies and culture, but that's not to say that we don't enjoy some irony-flavored cinema kryptonite now and then. Whereas tomorrow we'll look at some of the most refined entries in the horror category, here are the features so woefully underproduced and botched that they almost transcend their badness into something subversively genius. Or not.
While the following might not guarantee you any legitimate scares, they are sure to offer you some derisive enjoyment at the expense of their hackneyed acting, barely-there direction and dear-god-who-thinks-of-these-things plots. Let us know your favorite worst horror movie in the comments.
25. Hobgoblins (1988)
A blatant knockoff of Gremlins, this retro abomination doesn't just jump the shark, it goes for the whole damn ocean. With a plot about little monsters that grant magical wishes, we might wish that Hollywood would stop churning out crap like this, except then we would miss out on yet another strip tease by an '80s starlet with feathered bangs.
24. Pep Squad (1998)
Personally embraced as the worst movie of all time from one of the writers of this list, Pep Squad is so broke that it almost fails as, well, a failure. But in that ambiguous red area where incompetency meets quixotic passion, something so bizarre was birthed that it has to be seen to be believed. A faux-artsy plot about murderous high school students and depressingly bad acting will make you want to turn your TV off, but we guarantee you'll endure 'til the credits.
23. The Howling III: The Marsupials (1987)
Nonexistent budget? Check. Home-Ec special effects? Check. A plot only a hyperactive cinephile could understand? Check. Going under takes on an entirely new meaning in a movie about werewolf/marsupial/human romance. Choke on that, New Moon.
22. The Covenant (2006)
The epically homoerotic tale of a coven of teenage warlocks who brood, lament their bloodlines, snap towels in the locker room and ultimately shoot giant white wads of “electricity” at each other. Hmm.
21. The Gingerdead Man (2005)
Gary Busey as a possessed cookie. We repeat: Gary Busey as a possessed cookie.
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What, no Hershell Gordon Lewis flicks? Where's 2000 Maniacs? Where's Blood Feast?
Demented Death farm massacre should be on this list....
I found myself hoping that Sleepaway Camp would be on the list. The twist at the end completely messed with my head, and I haven't been able to forget it even 15+ years after I ever watched it. Imagine my utter joy when I saw that you placed it solidly in the top 5, causing me to giggle like a little school girl who's a boy who's a girl who's a boy...
Rawhead Rex is by far the worst movie of any genre I have ever seen. It just happens to be a horror film.
Granny: She'll Love You To Pieces. I am surprised its not on here. Probably the best worst film I have ever seen. Where have the standards gone?
According to the compilers of the list, PEP SQUAD is a "horror film" (it is not), that which is "bizarre" (i.e. unearthly, unfamiliar) is "bad," and a plot can be "faux-artsy." Bizarreness and badness are two separate concepts. The word "artsy" already implies falsity, and therefore the execrable phrase "faux-artsy" makes no sense. And how can a plot be "artsy," whether falsely or truthfully? Only a style can be "artsy" -- personally, I would prefer the less lowbrow term "artified." No explanation for PEP SQUAD's inclusion on the list is given, other than its alleged "bizarreness" -- which is only logical, again, if you think that all which is bizarre is bad.
PEP SQUAD is a bad horror film in the same measure that THE SHINING is a bad comedy.
i'm a little dissapointed there is not one chupacabra movie on this list.
i'm even more dissapointed i've seen well over half of these movies.