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Ten Fantastic Movie Monologues

May 19, 2010  |  7:00am
Ten Fantastic Movie Monologues

Maybe we all enjoy movie monologues because it’s so implausible that they’d ever take place in real life—I know that there are several moments in any given day where I find myself wishing I could grab a skull and soliloquize about whatever’s on my mind. Good thing we’ve got movies, so we can see how cool we’d look without actually risking social alienation! Here’s ten of the best:

1. “Coffee’s for closers.” (Glengarry Glen Ross)
And here you thought Alec Baldwin was just Liz Lemon’s delightfully caddish boss. A: Always, B: Be, C: Closing. Always. Be. Closing:

2. “Our precious bodily fluids!” (Dr. Strangelove)
Sterling Hayden puts in a masterful performance in Dr. Strangelove as the über-patriotic, über-paranoid General Jack D. Ripper. Nowhere is this clearer than in his speech about water fluoridation and the “international Communist conspiracy,” delivered with the wild-eyed intensity of a feral animal:

3. “The world is a business, Mr. Beale.” (Network)
The “I’m mad as hell!” speech is probably Network’s more famous monologue, but this one is far more prescient. Frighteningly so, in fact:

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