Pop Pyrotechnics: Fifteen Fireworks Plus Songs by Which to Explode Them

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Happy Fourth of July, America! We don't need to tell you how to celebrate your independence, but if you're grasping at straws, might we suggest driving to your nearest county-line fireworks stand and buy some shit to blow up in your backyard (observing all local laws and safety precautions, of course)? What's that—you're easily overwhelmed and worried you won't be able to pick the best explosives from all the cleverly-named choices at your local funbomb establishment? Well, we don't actually know very much about fireworks at all, but if you and yours are like the majority of the citizens of the U.S. of A, you'll be pleased with pretty much anything to which applying a lit match produces some kind of colored, flaming emissions, so why not go for the stuff that has some kind of obvious tie to popular music so that you can be a total cheeseball and play the songs they evoke while setting them off? We've collected fifteen of them here for you, because we love you and danger almost as much as we love this great country where somehow stuff like this is not illegal in all 50 states.

Purple People Eater
The Promise: "Red and blue peonies with blue tails and reports are displayed in our purple people eater."
The Soundtrack: Sheb Wooley, "Purple People Eater"

Operation Justice
The Promise: "This colorful aerial has beautiful golden brocades change over to blue stars."
The Soundtrack: Justice, "D.A.N.C.E."

Deep Purple
The Promise: "25 shot of blue comets that burst into red and blue stars."
The Soundtrack: Deep Purple, "Smoke on the Water"

Thunder Road
The Promise: "Red comets with crackle burst, green comets to magic burst, silver comets to gold rain."
The Soundtrack: Bruce Springsteen, "Thunder Road"

Big Honkin Star
The Promise: "Gold willow to red silver glitter willow to crackling flowers to crackling willow, ending with 3 simultaneous shots of crackling willow. Wow!"
The Soundtrack: Big Star, "Battle of El Goodo"

Super Nova
The Promise: "The Super Nova Fountain delivers with Purple & Lemon Stars to Silvery Chrysanthemum to Blue, Green & Purple Stars. Silvery Crackles to Red & Lemon Stars to Silvery Chrysanthemum with Golden Crackles. Blue, Lemon & Orange Stars to Silvery Chrysanthemum with Titanium Crackles."
The Soundtrack: Oasis, "Champagne Supernova"

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