Tonight, the eleventh season of Dancing with the Stars kicks off, and it’s apparent the producers are playing fast and loose with the term “stars” these days.
Sure, it’ll be entertaining to watch America’s favorite guido fist-pumping in a sequined vest, but there are far more talented gentlemen that could have been in his place. In fact, how about the 10 below? ABC casting directors, take note.
10. Al Pacino
In Scent of a Woman, Pacino proved he could deliver a seriously debonair tango like no other. If he can lead a dancing novice like Donna (Gabrielle Anwar) so well, imagine what he could do with a professional partner. Hoo-ah!
9. Russell Brand
The Situation will no doubt be flashing his abs quite a bit on the show, but this deleted scene from Forgetting Sarah Marshall is the kind of ancient and erotic art of dance we prefer.
8. Tom Cruise
His wife Katie Holmes may be the one who tried to become a dancer for a while, but Cruise has some moves too. Just be sure to put away the nice furniture before he comes out.
7. Dan Aykroyd
Aykroyd showed us he could cut a rug with the best of them as Elwood Blues, and he’d make a worthy competitor. Plus, he could use the exposure to generate hype for Ghostbusters III .
6. Kevin Bacon
Bacon was in Frost/Nixon with Michael Sheen, who did a guest spot on 30 Rock with Tina Fey, who was in The Invention of Lying with Rob Lowe, who was in St. Elmo’s Fire with Demi Moore, who was in Ghost with Whoopi Goldberg, who was the center square on Hollywood Squares, which was hosted by Dancing with the Stars host Tom Bergeron. Clearly, the universe has pre-ordained Bacon as a future DWTS champ.