13 Fictional Characters and Their Signature Drink Orders

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Now that summer’s here, we’re finding ourselves parched a little more frequently.

Need a new way to quench your thirst? Some of our favorite fictional characters are very particular about their drink orders. Grab some ice, check out the following 13 pop cultural beverages and remember: moderation in all things, kids.

13. Jack Torrance, The Shining: Bourbon on the rocks
Drink if: You’re looking for a strong, classy drink. Or if you’re looking to unwind after a long day of axe-wielding.

Metaphorically speaking, Jack’s real drink of choice was “red rum,” but when it comes to his bar order, he’ll take “hair of the dog that bit me” — and you can bet he’ll want to know who paid for it.

12. JD, Scrubs: Appletini
Drink if: You’re comfortable enough with yourself to actually order an appletini.

Poor JD endured a lot of ribbing from friends and strangers alike over his drink order, but it takes an admirable level of confidence to stick with a neon green cocktail.

11. Miles Raymond, Sideways: Pinot noir
Drink if: You want flavors that are “haunting and thrilling and brilliant and subtle” and nothing like that garbage merlot.

Much like Pinot, Miles needs constant care and attention. Only someone who takes the time to understand his potential (Maya) can truly coax him to his fullest expression. You are what you drink, we suppose.

10. Ron Burgundy, Anchorman: Scotch
Drink if: You need some elegant liquor to keep next to your many leatherbound books in your rich mahogany-smelling apartment.

Scotch ranks with poetry and of course, Baxter, among Ron Burgundy’s great loves. Besides, it’s a much better choice than milk.

9. Homer Simpson, The Simpsons: Duff beer
Drink if: You’re just an Average Joe looking for a cheap buzz. Also, if you happen to be a cartoon.

Homer’s been drinking Duff for over 20 years. Now that’s what we call brand loyalty.

8. Burton Mercer, The Blues Brothers: Orange Whip
Drink if: You want to explain to curious onlookers what the hell an orange whip is.

This famous line created a short-lived resurgence for this cocktail — which, in case you’re curious, consists of one part rum, one part vodka, two parts cream and four parts orange juice.