30 Comedians Worth Following on Twitter

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10. Sarah Silverman – @SarahKSilverman
Twitter Bio: I am a monkey
Followers: 2 million
Best Recent Tweet: Twice a day I look at the clock and go, “Hey! 9:11!” then I remember to get really really sad
Runner-Up: Like all animals, humans adapt to their surroundings. Like how homeless people’s feet turn into moccasins

9. Rob Huebel – @robhuelbel
Twitter Bio: I give medicinal cocaine to baby animals
Followers: 260k
Best Recent Tweet: Sometimes I wish my Dad was as understanding as Dexter’s dad.
Runner-Up: Sometimes I’ll meet the mailman out front and slowly mouth the word, “HELP” like I’m being held hostage inside. Dude doesn’t do shit.

8. Eugene Mirman – @EugeneMirman
Twitter Bio: I am television’s Eugene Mirman. I am very nice and like seafood.
Followers: 135k
Best Recent Tweet: I don’t recall V For Vendeta too clearly, but didn’t it start with riots & then David Cameron limiting use of Twitter?
Runner-Up: I only saw part of an ad, but I think it’s about women smiling until the cold war ends. RT @colsonwhitehead What’s “The Help” about?

7. Steve Martin – @SteveMartinToGo
Twitter Bio: I am Steve Martin, the actor, writer, comedian, and musician. You can find me here and at Stevemartin.com.
Followers: 1.5 million
Best Recent Tweet: Haven’t tweeted lately because I’m really absorbed by this Bounty paper towel.
Runner-Up: Have just been diagnosed with a borderline personality.

6. Michael Ian Black – @michaelianblack
Twitter Bio: Glad to have a friend like you.
Followers: 1.6 million
Best Recent Tweet: Standard & Poor’s just downgraded the London riots to “hijinks.”
Runner-Up: Thanks to everybody for the birthday well-wishes. Screw you @DalaiLama for pretending you “forgot about it.”

5. Kelly Oxford – @kellyoxford
Twitter Bio: Designed to make you feel like everything is going well. I am your Perestroika.
Followers: 185k
Best Recent Tweet: Crazy to think that in some countries Justin Bieber would be killed for not wearing a burka :(
Runner-Up: Women are the first to criticize other women’s bodies and that’s basically why we’re not all lesbians.

4. Julieanne Smolinski – @BoobsRadley
Twitter Bio: Nobody loves a good Dickens joke.
Followers: 41k
Best Recent Tweet: I think a funny riddle to put on a Popsicle stick is “Q: What’s purple and cold and filled with the spit of underpaid Popsicle writers?”
Runner-Up: If I could be invisible for a day, I hope it’s not on one where ABC Family does a “Gilmore Girls” marathon, because well, there goes that.

3. Alec Sulkin – @thesulk
Twitter Bio: Breaker of Swift Mustache Hairs
Followers: 252k
Best Recent Tweet: Why does everyone always blame San Andreas?
Runner-Up: Entertainment Weekly just put Words With Friends on their Must List. How do they stay ahead of the trends like that?!

2. Stephen Colbert – @StephenAtHome
Twitter Bio: http://www.ColbertNation.com
Followers: 2.5 million
Best Recent Tweet: Sesame Street says Bert and Ernie aren’t gay, tho I find it suspicious that the last episode was brought to you by the letters L, G, B, & T.
Runner-Up: God only has a 52% approval rating? Man, he’s got to be kicking himself for creating approval ratings.

1. Tim Siedell – @badbanana
Twitter Bio: Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire.
Followers: 515k
Best Recent Tweet: Accidentally went to a plastic surgeon for my Tommy John surgery and now I look exactly like Tommy John.
Runner-Up: I have a minor in history, so let me know if I can help you avoid repeating stuff.

Follow Paste editor-in-chief Josh Jackson on Twitter at @JoshJackson.