The 30 Best Dwight Schrute Quotes
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Dwight Schrute is undoubtedly one of television’s most interesting characters. And although this will be the last season of The Office, we have probably learned more from Dwight in the nine-season run of the show than all our years in school combined. While this knowledge is not always useful, if we’re ever on a beet farm, dueling a coworker over a girl, or the assistant (to the) regional manager of a paper company, we’ll have Dwight to thank for our preparedness.
“Nothing stresses me out. Except having to seek the approval of my inferiors.”
9. All These People!
“Why are all these people here? There are too many people on this earth. We need a new plague.”
8. The “R” Sound
“No, I disagree. “R” is one of the most menacing of sounds. That’s why they call it murder not ‘muckduck’.”
7. A Woman’s Defects
“Reject a woman, and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also, weak arms.”
6.Werewolf Hunting Experience
“I don’t have a lot of experience with vampires, but I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once, but by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor’s dog.”
5. An Ideal World
“In an ideal world, I would have all 10 fingers on my left hand so my right hand could just be a fist for punching.”
“You couldn’t handle my undivided attention.”
3. The Thing About Bear Attacks
“I saw Wedding Crashers accidentally. I bought a ticket for “Grizzly Man” and went into the wrong theater. After an hour, I figured I was in the wrong theater, but I kept waiting. Cuz that’s the thing about bear attacks they come when you least expect it.”
2. Resume Critiquing
“Of course Martial arts training is relevant Uh, I know about a billion Asians that would beg to differ You know what, you can go to hell, and I will see you there. Burning!”
1. Yeast Infections
“There are a huge number of yeast infections in this county. Probably because we’re downriver from that old bread factory.”
Bonus: The Perfect Crime
Just because it so perfectly captures Dwight Schrute’s way of thinking. Enjoy.