With the long-awaited season five premier of FX’s vulgarity-soaked laugh-fest, Archer, upon us (January 13th), what better way to whet the anticipation of both fan and neophyte alike that with some of the best quotes from the show’s superbly voiced characters. First up, you’ll need to stop by Human Resources…
Probably more than any of the other ancillary cast member of Archer, spy agency ISIS’s H.R Director has been revealed over the first four seasons to be the most secretly talented—and hedonistic—of the agency’s lot. That’s no minor distinction amongst a workforce of sexual deviants and super spies. An effortlessly hilarious Amber Nash shades all of Pam’s outrageous lines as the supremely screwed-up sentiments they are.
10. “I’m a desirable, full-bodied woman, but nobody will have sex with me! And I have so much love to giiiiiiiiive!”
Early on in the show’s run, Pam crumbles in the face of momentary despair. Fortunately for her, many of the ISIS staff apparently see her point over the ensuing seasons. Archer himself, loathe though he is to admit it, agrees that she’s a pretty fantastic lay.
9. “I swear to god, you could drown a toddler in my panties right now! I mean, not that you would.”
Burt Reynolds visiting the ISIS office stokes the ardor of the ladies. Pam has a disturbingly specific measurement for this.
8. “Oh, please. You’re so hot for him I could reheat this chili in your cooch.”
Pam, like everyone else at the agency, will simply not take Lana’s word about hating Sterling Archer’s guts. And she does seem legitimately fine sacrificing her lunch to make her point.
7. “You rub one out, flip back to regular TV, Superstars is on, and all of a sudden here’s Joe Frazier’s dumb ass drowning, and you forget it’s in there. Until mom and dad come to visit to tell you she’s got Lou Gehrig’s Disease.”
And now, nobody will ever again ask for explanations of things such as how she could forget to take the porn out of her VCR.
6. “My head feels like a bunch of monkeys fighting over a bucket of marbles.”
Luckily, Pam already knows the standard for work quality generated at ISIS was established in various states of “hung over” or “currently drunk.”