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The 60 Best Twitter Accounts of 2013

January 2, 2014  |  11:21am
The 60 Best Twitter Accounts of 2013

We could have kept going and going, listing our favorite people on Twitter. And we’ll continue a series on the Best of Twitter, divided by area of interest. In the meantime, here are 60 folks that will either make you laugh or make you a little bit smarter—often both. About half were on last year’s list and about half are new entries. The kings and queens of brevity, here are 60 Twitter accounts you should be following right now.

quest.jpg60. ?uestlove – @Questlove
Twitter Bio: your favorite twitterer’s favorite music snob.
Followers: 2,846,847
Best Recent Tweet: 20 Years Ago 2 Pals w/ a dream spent their first week in NYC putting the finishing touches on a song… http://instagram.com/p/ilpKOGQa8b/
Runner-Up: don’t breast w texas http://dfw.cbslocal.com…
In 140 characters: The real Most Interesting Man in the World.

lauren-ab.jpg59. Lauren Ashley Bishop – @sbellelauren
Twitter Bio: i’m a comedian from arkansas. i live in LA. but i comede all over. witstream.com please & thank you
Followers: 42k
Best Recent Tweet: i feel like when starbucks brings back the pumpkin spiced latte thats white history month
Runner-Up: NASA HOW DARE YOU MAKE ASTRONAUTS WORK ON CHRISTMAS EVE YOU ARE THE WALMART OF SPACE
In 140 characters: The stand-up comic has a new reality series called Exposed.

alexbaze.jpg58. Alex Baze – @bazecraze
Twitter Bio: Cynical shell. Soft, chewy center.
Followers: 97k
Best Recent Tweet: It’s weird how tourists don’t seem annoyed by each other. I guess it’s like tickling yourself.
Runner-Up: If you’re the sole survivor of the apocalypse, just go to your gym. There’ll be somebody at the locker right next to yours.
In 140 characters: The SNL/Jimmy Fallon writer is like an actual modern Seinfeld, perfectly articulating life’s little annoyances in a way that feels universal.

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57. Patrick Walsh – @thepatrickwalsh
Twitter Bio: TV Writer (It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, 2 Broke Girls). On Vine
Followers: 14k
Best Recent Tweet: I go to therapy just so someone will talk to me without looking at their phone.
Runner-Up: Let’s get a conference call on the books. It’ll help to hear fragments of nine people’s contrasting opinions mixed with heavy wind sounds.
In 140 characters: Walsh is a master of the one-liner, often cracking us up with even using up those 140 characters.

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56. Jaded Punk Hulk – @JADEDPUNKHULK
Twitter Bio: $40 ON TICKETMASTER?! HULK SEE THAT BAND IN BASEMENT IN ‘98.
Followers: 34k
Best Recent Tweet: WHENEVER HULK SING FRANK TURNER SONGS, HULK NO CAN HELP BUT USE BRITISH ACCENT. HULK KIDDING. HULK NEVER LISTEN TO FRANK TURNER SONGS.
Runner-Up: HULK ALWAYS FEEL BAD FOR TWO CRUSTPUNKS STILL HANGING OUT ON ST MARKS PLACE. IT OVER, GUYS. THERE NOTHING LEFT FOR YOU HERE.
In 140 characters: Everything you need to know about this account is in its handle. No more explanation necessary.

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55. Brendon Walsh – @brendonwalsh
Twitter Bio: Guess how many fingers I’m holding up my butt.
Followers: 52k
Best Recent Tweet: I wonder what level of Candy Crush Kurt Cobain would be up to if he were alive today.
Runner-Up: I made a mix tape of Geico commercials for a girl I like
In 140 characters: Walsh is a talented comedian who also hosts a podcast called The Bone Zone.

briangaar.jpg
54. Brian Gaar – @briangaar
Twitter Bio: Comedian, lazy playboy
Followers: 53k
Best Recent Tweet: WHO LET THE OWLS OUT?? DON’T SING THE CHORUS YOU’LL MAKE IT WORSE
Runner-Up: If you pull a lizard’s tail off, it will grow back. If you pull it off again, the lizard will be like “dude.”
In 140 characters: Gaar has a comedy album on the way. Finally.

huebel.jpg53. Rob Huebel – @robhuebel
Twitter Bio: I give medicinal cocaine to baby animals
Followers: 487k
Best Recent Tweet: do that thing where you quote Kill Bill all day but get it way wrong and then we break up
Runner-Up: “Mommy will the drones shoot down the reindeer?” —some kid who gets it
In 140 characters: Huebel shows up in so many of our favorite things—Children’s Hospital, Axe Cop, The League, Burning Love. But he’ll always be T.C. Everwood, FBI.

bens.jpg52. Ben Schwartz – @rejectedjokes
Twitter Bio: Jean-Ralphio on Parks and Rec, Clyde Oberholt on House of Lies, Randy on Randy Cunningham, Performer at the UCB Theatre, Calvin and Hobbes/Simpsons enthusiast.
Followers: 250k
Best Recent Tweet: Forget everything you know about amnesia.
Runner-Up: Being alive is EXHAUSTING.
In 140 characters: It’s hard to steal scenes on Parks and Rec but Schwartz does it every time he’s on screen. And he’s winning Twitter.

rainn.jpg51. Rainn Wilson – @rainnwilson
Twitter Bio: I am an actor and a writer and I co-created @SoulPancake and my son, Walter.
Followers: 3.7 million
Best Recent Tweet: Gotye is somebody that we used to know.
Runner-Up: The thousands of cats, owned by teenage girls, that are named “Katniss” should all be pitted against one another in a fight to the death.
In 140 characters: We’ve only grown to like Rainn Wilson more since The Office.

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50. Todd Barry – @toddbarry
Twitter Bio: @ToddBarryPdcast http://bit.ly/toddbarrypodcast …. $5 Comedy special http://bit.ly/supercrazyfivebucks …. Tour http://bit.ly/toddbarrytour
Followers: 229k
Best Recent Tweet: Dude w/sunglasses walked into coffee shop like he was a celeb. I’m like, “slow down, bro. I’m the one sitting here reading @Variety.”
Runner-Up: Sad we live in a world where you get more attention for winning a marathon than I do for winning Twitter.
Honorable Mention: I’m fine that @PasteMagazine didn’t put me on their best comedians list. I’m still honored to be one of just 121,300 people they follow.
In 140 characters: Todd Barry will now participate in whatever topic is trending…to usually hilarious effect.

MichaelIanBlack.jpg49. Michael Ian Black – @michaelianblack
Twitter Bio: Noted expert
Followers: 1.9 million
Best Recent Tweet: My wife is making Swedish meatballs. (Not the food, a Swedish adaptation of the summer camp movie.)
Runner-Up: My biggest high school memory is of the space shuttle exploding. If we’re not going to discuss that, I see no reason to attend the reunion.
In 140 characters: The former State star has amassed nearly two million followers with cranky hilarity.

mountain_goats.jpg48. The Mountain Goats – @mountain_goats
Twitter Bio: invisible shroud crew. no shroud no trends no crew
Followers: 84k
Best Recent Tweet: #IStandWithPhil Collins watching his kit get loaded in. “Aren’t you supposed to be helping?” he grumps. “No, I’m hospitality,” I smile
Runner-Up: don’t wanna play amateur sociologist but maybe the real black friday…is in our hearts
In 140 characters: If all musicians were as funny, clever and opinionated as John Darnielle, all the comedians would be hiding out on Facebook.

andrewwk.gif47. Andrew W.K. – @andrewwk
Twitter Bio: THE KING OF PARTYING. Contact: WriteToAndrewWK@gmail.com
Followers: 261k
Best Recent Tweet: Probably my best PARTY TIP ever: http://twitpic.com/doxwy5
Runner-Up: The reason partying is so much fun is because it’s fucking awesome.
In 140 characters: Party tips. And tips for partying.

damien-f.jpg46. Damien Fahey – @DamienFahey
Twitter Bio: tv, radio host / comedian / writer for http://someecards.com / host on hulu’s the morning after & 104.3 myfm
Followers: 152k
Best Recent Tweet: Fun fact: “For every action there is an unequal and opposite overreaction.” – Newton’s law of the Internet
Runner-Up: The Whole Foods clothing aisle is one-stop shopping for people who want to dress like Serbian refugees.
In 140 characters: The Family Guy writer is a font of one-liners.

grace-helbig.jpg45. Grace Helbig – @gracehelbig
Twitter Bio: I vlog. I like funny.
Followers: 482k
Best Recent Tweet: It’s decided. If I have 3 kids they’re getting named “Bed” “Bath” and “Beyonce.”
Runner-Up: Tom Daley is gay and H&M HAS 40% OFF ONLINE ORDERS. ONE OF THESE THINGS IS VERY SHOCKING TO ME.
In 140 characters: The Daily Grace creator was all over 2013, especially online.

jposnanski.jpg44. Joe Posnanski – @JPosnanski
Twitter Bio: It’s all jazz. — Buck O’Neil
Followers: 94k
Best Recent Tweet: When Siri tells you “The wind chill is currently minus-20 degrees Fahrenheit,” you are in the wrong place.
Runner-Up: No. 69 on my 100 greatest baseball players list trained with a sword. http://bit.ly/18W4z67
In 140 characters: One of the best sports writers around is a joy to follow.

hopiecan.jpg43. Hope Cantwell – @hopiecan
Twitter Bio: behind everyman is an author who wanted a relatable character
Little Kurdistan
Followers: 2k
Best Recent Tweet: a self-awarewolf gets super introspective every full moon
Runner-Up: so we can all agree the saddest three word sentence is “Guys, wait up!”
In 140 characters: I don’t know anything about Hope Cantwell other than her Twitter feed was recommended to me and I must recommend it to you.

seinfeld.jpg42. Seinfeld Today – @Seinfeld2000
Twitter Bio: Imagen Seinfeld was never canceled and still NBC comedy program today?
Followers: 27k
Best Recent Tweet: Snoop Dogg change name to Snoop Nazi
Snoop Nazi cut his concert short when he see Elane in the crowd texting
SNOOP NAZI: NO SNOOP FOR YOU
Runner-Up: Krame try to pay for calzone with sack of bitcoins
In 140 characters: Hilarious parody of a hilarious parody. Or shd that b pardoy?

fart.jpg
41. Jon Hendren – @fart
Twitter Bio: quote unquote writer
Followers: 70k
Best Recent Tweet: so wait, explain again how “butt dial” is different from “booty call”? it still sounds like i should come over
Runner-Up: my dream job is to be the FBI guy who nicknames criminals. someone blew up a fish market? Tunabomber. easy.
In 140 characters: Yes, I’m suggesting you should follow someone who calls themselves fart. It’s Twitter, not a confined space.

jacycatlin.jpg
40. Jacy Catlin – @ieatanddrink
Twitter Bio: Skeletons are a bunch of bullshit
Followers: 45k
Best Recent Tweet: It’s so cold out today in Wisconsin I just saw a snowman kill another snowman and crawl inside his body cavity
Runner-Up: Dating tip:
Girls love mysterious guys. For example, tell her “Im a lawyer.Or AM I?” then hum the Twilight Zone theme and turn into an eagle
In 140 characters: Words only tell part of the story why Jacy Caitlin makes me laugh. Here are the other parts.

alexblagg.jpg39. Alex Blagg – @alexblagg
Twitter Bio: Writer/Comedian/Producer/Internet Idiot
Followers: 27k
Best Recent Tweet: Just now realized that The Hunger Games: Catching Fire isn’t some new Taco Bell late night menu.
Runner-Up: In terms of things I feel concerned about even though I don’t know what they are, Bitcoins are quickly becoming the new antioxidants.
In 140 characters: Blagg is co-creator and producer of Comedy Central’s @midnight

arze.jpg
38. Ezra Koenig – @arzE
Twitter Bio: vampire weekend inc.
Followers: 216k
Best Recent Tweet: is it more goth 2 wear a black band-aid or 2 leave the wound exposed?
Runner-Up: too good for the cheap shit, too cheap for the good shit
In 140 characters: The Vampire Weekend singer entertains on many levels.

nein.jpg
37. NeinQuarterly – @NeinQuarterly
Twitter Bio: Nein. A Compendium of Utopian Negation. Ed: Eric Jarosinski. All views solely reflect NQ’s cynical whimsy. http://neinquarterly.com neinquarterly@gmail.com
Followers: 47k
Best Recent Tweet: A German subordinating conjunction walks into a bar. Three hours later it’s joined by a verb.
Runner-Up: The good news is that 2013 is ending. The bad news is that most everything else will continue.
In 140 characters: Negativity has a new champion.

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36. Joe Mande – @JoeMande
Twitter Bio: Comedian, TV writer & [unauthorized] celebrity spokesperson for @enjoyLaCroix water. #2 funniest & #41 hottest on Twitter. Currently attempting to buy 1M #bots
Followers: 623k
Best Recent Tweet: He was a good dog. He was a beautiful, very good dog. Who was a good dog? Who’s a beautiful, good boy? Was it you? It was.—Dog obituary
Runner-Up: Maybe Hitler started WWII after being constantly attacked by time travelers.
In 140 characters: A stand-up comic and serial podcast guest, Joe Mande is always good for a laugh.

joshgondelman.jpg35. Josh Gondelman – @joshgondelman
Twitter Bio: Politely Hilarious. Hilariously Polite. Co-author of @SeinfeldToday. Regular guy at joshgondelman@gmail.com
Followers: 27k
Best Recent Tweet: Every time a bell rings, an Arcade Fire song is halfway over. #sixminutesleft
Runner-Up: Being an adult feels a lot like mono.
In 140 characters: Gondelman used to be a pre-school teacher before becoming becoming a stand-up comic and writer.

nealbrennan.jpg34. Neal Brennan – @nealbrennan
Twitter Bio: Co-creator of Chappelle’s Show and less popular things. Comedian.
Followers: 234k
Best Recent Tweet: Kobe’s so competitive, he’s trying to figure out a way to be gayer than Jason Collins right now.
Runner-Up: I get most of my self-esteem from girls telling me how great I am as they break up with me.
In 140 characters: He helped bring The Chapelle Show to life and hasn’t stopped being funny.

julieanne-s.jpg33. Julieanne Smolinski – @BoobsRadley
Twitter Bio: Dance 10, looks 3.
Followers: 132k
Best Recent Tweet: The next time somebody complains about millennials, maybe remind them which generation linoleumed over all those beautiful hardwood floors.
Runner-Up: I like when I see an old couple, holding hands and lost in their love, because in a fight, I could still probably totally take them.
In 140 characters: With a Twitter handle as good as “BoobsRadley,” you know she’s brilliant.

eugene-m.jpg32. Eugene Mirman – @EugeneMirman
Twitter Bio: I like seafood and backgammon. I voice Gene on @BobsBurgersFox. My new CD/DVD An Evening of Comedy In a Fake Underground Laboratory out now!
Followers: 304k
Best Recent Tweet: If you watch Eminem sing with the sound off, it looks like he’s giving directions to a very hard to find place.
Runner-Up: Just saved a ton of money on a sign language translator for an internationally televised funeral I’m putting together. Pretty psyched.
In 140 characters: Mirman’s profile continues to grow with a role in Bob’s Burgers and a new stand-up album.

ronan.jpg31. Ronan Farrow – @ronanfarrow
Twitter Bio: Journalist. Lawyer. Undiplomatic diplomat. Former U.S. Global Youth Issues envoy. http://facebook.com/ronansf | http://ronanfarrow.tumblr.com | http://instagram.com/ronanfarrow
Followers: 156k
Best Recent Tweet: And here I thought Ariana Grande was a Microsoft Word font.
Runner-Up: Kim Jong-un executed uncle over fight for crab exports. Like that time Uncle Sal hogged the claws at Red Lobster, but with firing squads.
In 140 characters: Making other 26-year-olds wonder what they’ve done with their lives.

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