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The 10 Creepiest Monsters on Grimm

March 21, 2014  |  2:00pm
The 10 Creepiest Monsters on <i>Grimm</i>

Anyone who’s been keeping up with NBC’s fantasy series/cop drama Grimm has seen a good amount of gruesome not-so-fairy-tale beasts. The wesen, the witches, those mermaids that really worked against the whole “mermaids are sexy” movement—this show is not for the faint of heart. But last week’s episode “Mommy Dearest” absolutely took the cake with the introduction of the Aswang. Based on the Filipino myth of a beast that attacks pregnant women (because their amniotic fluid is so incredibly delish), the Aswang is—so far and in in the opinion of this writer—the creepiest monster ever. Watching that thing in baby bump attack mode scarred some of us for life. For that, the Grimm writers and artists get the slowest of slow claps, as they’ve also inspired this collection of 10 other Grimm creatures we never, ever want to see again.

1. El Cucuy
Some grandmas make chocolate chip cookies. Others serve up some mean rice and beans. The little old lady in this season’s “El Cucuy” episode was coldly serving up some serious vigilante revenge, and it was not pretty. Of all the wesen on this list, El Cucuy is really the only one viewers were secretly glad to watch getting away with murder. She avenges her son’s attackers and protects a neighbor from a rapist, so she’s kind of a sweetheart. She just does it all with a lot of throat-slashing, and when she woges, she’s still incredibly creepy.
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2. Naiad
These mer-wesen just barely make the list. If it weren’t for those eerie gills hanging off of their necks, they actually wouldn’t be so bad. Fortunately for them, they do have those eerie gills, and we also had the displeasure of watching their skin peel off in this season’s “One Night Stand.” There’s not enough Jergens in the world for these beautiful—but ultimately creepy—water nymphs.

3. Hexenbiest
As the resident Hexenbeist, Adalind’s part-witch, part-zombie face is a far cry from actor Claire Coffee’s usual visage. Creepily enough, Adalind (who you can get to know better at the 2:27 mark of the video) is a mom now, which actually makes her more terrifying than ever. And something tells us that her new baby girl will be haunting our dreams soon enough.

4. Murciélago
No, Kanye West. It’s not what you think. In addition to that horrifying face, these bat-like wesen have a scream that can (as Monroe explained) “pull the bark off a dog.” The murciélago was the aftermath in “Happily Ever Aftermath,” a season one episode that introduced viewers to a very bitter Lucinda Jarvis (Amanda Schull). She’s dead now, so we’re safe. Sort of.
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5. Wildesheer
If the scalping bit doesn’t get you, chances are you’ll be impressed with their Buffalo Bill-esque approach to sewing the scalps of their victims (hair and all) into fancy, schmancy Wildesheer coats. These wolf-like wesen are pretty much the worst, but vanity gets the best of them in the end—they literally die if you cut off even one lock of their hair.

6. Spinnetod
The spinnetod—redefining lBack Widow myths and the “Itsy Bitsy Spider” song one terrifying fang at a time. Seriously, did you see those teeth?

7. Schakal
All you really need to know about these jackal-like wesen is that they eat babies. As in … babies! Not sure if that makes them worse than the fetus-killing Aswang, but they’re pretty bad. They also steal jewelry, which is just plain rude.
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8. Lausenschlange
From the German words for “louse” and “snake,” this wesen’s name alone is guaranteed to make you itchy. Between their scaly skin and their ability to swallow human beings whole (or strangle them to death, depending on their mood), the Lausenschlange are like boa constrictors in the Grimm world. And since boa constrictors in the real world are bad enough, it’s safe to say that these guys are next-level scary.
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9. Mauvais Dente
In a parallel universe somewhere, somebody is making a list titled “The 10 Creepiest Monster Fangs on Grimm,” and Mauvais Dente and Spinnetod are battling it out for the top spot. The thing about these sabre-toothed tiger-like killing machines is that their fangs aren’t just for show—those one-inch thick bites are no joke. Also, if you’re getting creepy Mike Tyson-related vibes looking at these things (because, don’t they kind of look like they have some really funky facial tattoos?) you’re not alone.

10. Jinnamuru Xunte
The ginormous bug eyes, the skin, the tongue (there was actual hair on that tongue)—it’s like a puffer fish had a baby with The Fly, and that baby grew up and decided to feed off of the tears of its victims. If you caught “Mr. Sandman” back in season two, you may remember the scene where Andre (the Jinnamuru Xunte of the hour) sprayed worms into Nick’s eyes (because they can also do that) and temporarily blinded him. Ah, Grimm. Good times, good times.
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Shannon M. Houston is a New York-based freelance writer, regular contributor to Paste, and occasional contributor to the human race via little squishy babies. You can follow her on Twitter.

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