Rocky Balboa the Italian Yoda (A Love Story)

I am a child of Rocky films. That is the good ones. You know what I mean, Rocky - Rocky IV. Memories of Star Spangled Trunks, punching sides of beef, ditching the KGB, chasing chickens, drinking egg yolks, and weird celebratory man hugs in the ocean after beach running make me feel young again. What a simple time we once lived in when there were only four Rocky movies to love. How many times a month do you think about Rocky? I bet it’s more than you’ll admit. Whenever I sprint up the long flight of stairs to the Salem Courthouse to pay my various fines and violations I always raise my arms and do a little dance. Every time I beckon some roustabout to valet park my ‘78 Scout with a manly "Yo!" I always mumble "Adrian" under my breath like a nervous tic. Just say the name Clubber Lang and try not to throw an air-punch. Wouldn’t it be great if we all had a Burgess Meredith in our corner. Believe me it would be.

Once, when I was thirteen years old, my mother took me to Malibu to visit her friend who was married to the actor who played Dudley Moore’s buddy in "10". We were basically staying in the house where most of it was filmed. For room and board my duty was to walk this beast of a German Shepard up and down the beach every morning. It was on one such morning that I had my Rocky moment. Instead of Bo Derek bouncing down the beach in my adolescent day-dream I saw Burgess walk out of his house and ramble over to where I was playing fetch with the dog. He held out his hand and introduced himself. He said he heard I was visiting from his neighbor and thought I might want some company as I walked the beach. So we ambled along the crowded stretch of million dollar beach homes and he would point out who lived where and how much they paid for a glorified clam shack. I didn’t really say much while he told wild tales of his days as the Penguin on Batman But eventually I conjured up the two best questions I could for a man of thirteen, "Was it the Batmobile the coolest car he’d ever been in?" and "Are Batgirl’s Boobs really that pointy?" Unfortunately the answer to both was no, but what I did glean was Adam West got a lot of nookie. When talk finally turned to Rocky he only said two things, first, the Rocky Movies were good for the country because they inspired the average Joe to take a shot at something bigger and more importantly playing Mickey Goldmill made him enough to live on this beautiful stretch of beach surrounded by beautiful women until he died. These noble observations fueled my impressionable mind to leap into my adolescence with confidence and determination.

While I have lived my life according to Burgess’ de facto - Apollo Creedo, I didn’t make it to anything past Rocky IV, but it seems the latest installment of the franchise is once again giving hope to those in need. It seems there is a small village near Belgrade, Serbia that is raising a statue to the fictional boxer in order to ward off years of bad luck. While I realize more people go to Philadelphia to see the original mock Rocky Statue than the Liberty Bell, this BBC news story is pushing the plausible boundaries of inspirational insanity. The idea came from Bojan Marceta, a village resident, when he saw the latest Rocky film Rocky Balboa.

"I felt as if Rocky has come from our village, he had to fight to win his place in society," he told B92 radio. (read the whole story here but come right back )

I don’t know what Ivan Drago would have to say about all of this but in an effort to see if this latest installment of Rocky indeed held the secrets how to fend against mudslides and economic chaos I dispatched our trusty film correspondent famed musician and artist Joesph Arthur to review the film. Take it away Joe:

Rocky Balboa

Its hard to nowhere to start


Sylvester stallone is a genius


I’m not even close to kidding


It gets endless stars


And is without any doubt in my mind


The greatest movie I have ever seen


If you stay in a place long enough you become the place


Rocky is a shaman


He with love surrounded himself with infinitiy’s smile


This movie is a lesson


In how to make yer world a wonderful place


Rocky takes a million punches to the face


His broke down dog punchy


Is a metaphor to the gifts of life bestowed upon others comes back to you with wonderful force


Like hermen hesse and the simple


Sid Arthur


This book


This movie


Moves at a life changing pace


The fact that this werld trys to make a jokester of sly only serves to make him that much more lovable and real with what he has to say


I trust him utterly


As an aside he puts his kick aSs paintings in the movie as well


This motherfucker is like a built up italian yoda


With lines like


Its not how hard you hit


But how many punches you can take and still move forward


This movie teaches you self belief


And the ways of the shaman


Rocky shamanizes everybody


And all these people blossom


Around him


Into complete versions of themselves


Even his opponent right before the last round


Who says to rock


Yer a crazy old man


Rocky replies


You’ll get there


In that simple statement


So full of love compassion and sympathy


He shamanizes or heals his rival


And thus both defeats and saves him


He shatters with force way beyond punches


Thru the fear that keeps this so called champion from getting the respect he feels he deserves


Rocky to his son


Says


I’m afraid


But I use that fear


Fear makes me a much better fighter


Fighters keep on fighting


Says the new woman in his life


Who he shamanized into her own greatness


She becomes more beautiful and her style improves over the course of the movie


The fact that she is a little girl he walked home and told to quit smoking and was told screw you bucko makes this an incredible meditation on time and the fact that what you give you get


Now polly


His dark brother in law


His shadow


Reminds him


About


The base ment


Bass meant


Base ment


Think of the werd


Base


Meant


And tells him


Inbetween bouts of drunken misery


To use


The base


Ment


In order


To destroy his opponent


Rocky understands


that he must heal polly to save his own soul


That is why


He is not even close to letting him go


And ultimately


Polly becomes his greatest friend


Giving him


The best advice possible


Uuse the base meant


In order to destroy yer opponent


Do not let the base meant destroy u as it had with polly


Rocky’s shadow


Now adrian


From beyond


The love of his life


Haunting him at the outset


Was


His biggest challenge to overcome


He


A complete realized being


A shaman


Was never gonna fail


But at the same time


Had to learn to take it all away


I love rocky


He is me


He is all of us


We can all be champions


In fact


We


Will


All


Be


Champions


That is the message of this film


When at the end


He raises his hand with a fist in the air to a chanting crowd


Before the flag of america


Sly stallone is a national treasure