Summer Lovin’ Had Me a Blast; Bonnaroo; Telluride Bluegrass; Newport Folk etc.

For most people, summer means water skiing on the lake, basking on the beach and reading trashy paperbacks. But to the growing throng of insatiable musical omnivores summer means glow-stick wars, ravaged road maps, silent discos and midnight Mardi Gras parades with American Idol reject William Hung singing Ricky Martin’s “She Bang” on a monstrous Mr. T float. In other words, it’s Festival Season.

While the touring/concert industry—entombed in its gentrified amphitheater sheds—flails like a senile cat thrown into a kennel of starving puppies, the musically enlightened frolic in vast sonic playgrounds built specifically with the live-music experience in mind. If “Camel Cigarettes Presents in Association with Norway Cruises and Cabo Wabo Tequila a Limited Engagement of Steve Miller and Sammy Hagar with the Surviving Members of Reo Speedwagon Extravaganza” leaves you feeling icky and used, then it’s time to pack your sunscreen and sneakers and hop aboard the Festival Express. 

That’s right, no matter how long the battery life of your cell phone, laptop or toothbrush, live performances are still what give music its soul, and the growing number of destination music festivals are providing the enviable alternative to the crumbling bedrock of “Shed Rock.” And this, people, is a good thing, because these major festivals are geared to provide the fan with an experience well beyond what you have been conditioned to endure.

Close your eyes and picture skipping around a carnival designed by Walt Disney, Willy Wonka and Wayne Coyne while they’re on a three-day Peyote Bender, and hearing the strains of Gillian Welch, Manu Chao, The Roots or Rodrigo y Gabriela, depending on which way you cup your ears. Too tired to take Guitar Hero lessons? Maybe get a Jin Shin Jyutsu massage or loll about in the micro-beer garden. Too burnt to climb around a giant, glowing art installation? Maybe visit the Oasis Mist tent or watch the entire Lord of The Rings trilogy in the film tent. Too tired to mud wrestle Sarah Silverman or take a couple cuts in the Batting Cage with Lewis Black? Maybe you should just stay home, because, no matter how invigorating the side attractions, these music marathons are not for the faint of heart.

You can try and make sense of the numbers that come with hosting one of these gigs: 80 to 100 bands, 60,000 to 100,000 people, 600 to1,000 acres, 8 to 10 stages, 1 million pounds of ice, over 6,500,000 total watts of electrical power. But, as with any good mind-blowing, logic is useless. It’s best to tip your cap to the lunatic alchemists who throw these hospitable hoedowns and go about enjoying the hootenanny. But it’s hard not to contemplate just how much these festivals have altered the musical landscape both literally and figuratively. A decade ago, no one would have believed this paradigm to be viable, never mind the norm.

But live music has always been the great equalizer when facing the massive marketing machines behind the disposable and synthetic culture that permeates today’s music industry. If you can’t turn it up to “11” in front of the masses, don’t bother applying. This is why Britney’s sporting a Kojak, J-Lo is going the way of the Dodo and once-niche bands now have a chance to play in front of thousands of potential fans. The blossoming truth is that we live in a time of musical decentralization and genre blending. So, by bringing together a litany of artists whose common bond is their ability to blur the lines of what is visually and musically possible, you have all the ingredients for a rapid cultural shift. 

In fact, this cornucopia of acts is perhaps the Festival’s crowning achievement (along with ample port-a-johns) because by bringing together disparate fans from all walks of life, these long, lost weekends are revitalizing the communal aspect of concerts. Collectively shared experiences on such massive scales allow for a healthier and better-educated music scene. Whether it be festivals’ added focus on renewable resources, voter registration or funding for local music education, they have proven that there is strength in numbers and that the whole is truly greater than the mere sum of parts.

While these socially responsible elements are an added bonus, some of these “parts” are worth every penny. Personal favorites include cavorting with serial Festival Freaks, (easily spotted by their Camelbacks and ability to dance between the meandering herds of overwhelmed neophytes), fried catfish with a side of sweet-potato fries and a double shot of wheat grass (you work it all off at the full-costume 5k), plus randomly seeing people you met on the plane all throughout the weekend and communicating with nothing more than winks, thumbs ups and knowing glances—it’s a true testament to the power of an event (or my gravitational powers of serendipity).

Although nine innings at the park, sunset walks on the beach and the final Harry Potter book can be a good way to spend a weekend, burst your beach ball and come cut loose in the fields, farms and fairgrounds of Bonnaroo, Coachella, Sasquatch, Lollapalooza, Austin City Limits, Glastonbury, High Sierra, Newport Folk, Wakarusa, etc. or else you may be missing some of the Greatest Shows on Earth.