Ask Mike Doughty a Question

You’re starting to piss me off you lil’ piggly son of a bitch of a website! Get your shit together!

Are these questions ever going to be answered? It’s been over a month and I’m beginning to think this has all been a big tease. I assume that Mike would want to respond around the time of his new cd’s release, which is now only nine days away, so what gives? Can we expect some answers soon?

Any chance of a Phoenix show anytime soon?

I can’t travel far and I’m desperate…

Hey! It’s my Birthday! Can you sing “Happy Birthday” to me?

Did you have to pay James Van Der Beek and/or Bob Balaban to use their names in your songs?

Did you write the song “How to Fuck a Republican” - or is that a cover?

How was that van orgy in Boston anyways?

These shoes are are wearing in this pic are MAGNIFICENT.  What are they???  PLEASE, I must get me a pair, toute to the suite.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/barnable/339106457/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/barnable/339107137/in/photostream/

I saw you down around Teany a while back. It made me wonder if you would do an impression of Vegan activist Moby dishing out the vegan sausage. In the form of a question- Would you, on this video response, dish out the Vegan Soysage, Moby style? Better yet, would you see if Moby would dish out the soysage in the video with you? If you can’t get Moby, can you get Scrap to do an impression?

How did you feel about Jerry Falwell’s death?

I enjoy imagining that Britney Spears’ vagina is like Pan’s Labyrinth, and if you enter it a faun will give you three quests to complete in order to gain access to the underworld. Thoughts?

Also, if you were to yell “Rockity Roll!” into her vag, how many times would it echo? I say four.

Mike, you are so fucking cool...how can I be as fucking cool as you? My first name is Mike, so that’s a start.

1) Do you like Bob Dylan? 
IF yes - What is your favorite album of his?
If no - well then nevermind.  See question 2.

2)What actress would you most like to git it ONNN with, and why?

Do you still have a bucket of shoes in your foyer (FOY-YAY)?  Because I’ve noticed you have LOTS of cool of sneakers, and I can not imagine they could possibly all fit in one bucket.

How COULD you?

My wife and I are having our second daughter in May...Will you please pick a name for us?

Do you remember me?

Ahh...the “by” part is below the post,not above...duh. Sorry… :(

That first post in the list of questions is from me (Brian S) I dont know where the hell Mike M. came from. I guess it’s just late...lol.

.....
19.Finish this sentence: The reason I’d like to be a gazelle is...?
20.Were you breastfed?
21.Do you believe in aliens?
22.On a more serious not: Were the characters in the NYPress Dirty Sanchez columns (Sister of Sanchez, Glum Whitey, etc.) real or were they made up “alter egos”?
23.any chance of another poetry book? My copy of Slanky is getting quite worn. :)

Hope you’ll answer some or all of these, Mike. I’ve been a fan since ‘96!

....
13.If you had five apples, would you give me one to tune your guitar?
14.What, do you suppose, is Bob Dylan’s favorite type of marmalade?
15.I still haven’t found what I’m looking for. Where can I find it? Does Bono have it?
16.Do you live a life deluxe?
17.Have you purified yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka?
18.Have you ever spun a web so complex that you became entangled in the very web you wove?

.....
7.In your opinion, what is the sexiest fish?
8.If you possessed a computer virus so powerful that it could cripple the world, what would you name it?
9.David Lee Roth or Sammy Hagar?
10.Ronald Reagan or Alex P. Keaton?
11.How do you solve a problem like Maria?
12.Who’s your favorite Muppet?

I’ve got a bunch, so bear with me:

1.Through all your years of show business, how much bling have you acquired?
2.If you were a tree, what would you rather have nesting in you: birds or squirrels?
3.If god were a fruit, what fruit would he be?
4.Which Beatle do you think farted the most?
5.Have you ever worn your sunglasses at night?
6.Is Steve Perry right that “the road ain’t no place to start a family”?.......

when you come to San Fran next time, wanna
have a pint?

If you found out that George W. Bush was a distant relative of yours...how would that make you feel.

You signed my FAUX breast at the Grand Emporium in KC. Will you be playing in KC in 2008? Anywhere in the midwest in ‘08?

If you were a pizza, which two toppings would you have?

Boxers, briefs or Depends?

What’s up with Hansome Dan?

Is Scrap as fucking awesome as he seems to be?

Who does your hair?

Do you come from a warm or cold climate?

Which do you prefer...Canned or Dry food?

What’s better, a burp or a fart?

Why the “Square-Hair?”

AND…
Would you rather have no nipples - OR - 4?

Do you like me? 

Circle:
YES or NO

Here’s a political question for you. Would you rather hear a hot looking female television reporter say “Caucus” or “primary”?

Will you write a song about me? Details:

I’m tall.
I laugh a lot.
Music is my passion.
I never did care for the color blue.

Thanks!

To tag on to Michael’s question, which animal would write a better song, a cat or a dog?

The chord “C” on a guitar is inherently better than “B7.” Agree or disagree?

Would you rather be a character in a Fountains of Wayne song or a Frank Zappa song?

Are you a “cat” person or a “dog” person?

On your blog, you’ve written about your travels to Southeast Asia and Ethiopia/Eritrea. Where is the next inspiration destination for Mike Doughty?

In my eyes and ears, you’re one of a kind.  Is there anyone else however, that you feel is a lot like you....musically or otherwise?

What’s the musical progression behind the new album? How have you moved forward towards your musical ideals since the release of Haughty Melodic?

Will there ever be a Soul Coughing reunion?

Hi Mike!  As a person of faith, I find a lot of spiritual meaning in your lyrics—I see God in songs like “F Train,” “No Peace Los Angeles,” “Unsingable Name,” “His Truth is Marching On,” etc.  I’ve also heard that you aren’t affiliated with any specific faith tradition.  I guess I’m asking, “How do you feel about the fact that I use your songs to undergird my own beliefs?  Is that cool?”

Which do you prefer, cake or pie?

How much Radue would a Chuck Radue Chuck if a Chuck Radue could Chuck Radue?

If you choose your actions based on your beliefs, and your beliefs are not under your control, do you have free will?

or

Why are there so many songs about rainbows, and what’s on the other side?

If you were a hot dog and you were starving, would you eat yourself?

Hi Mike,

Do you think that human interaction with robots will negatively effect human moral development? Or will we attribute moral status to the robots? Do you “own” any robots?