High Gravity goes soccer-mad. England vs. USA, Part One

OK, I know that you look to Paste to discover music, film, books, video games and TV shows you might have otherwise missed. But I’m having a hard time thinking about anything besides soccer right now. I’ve invited guest blogger and soccer expert Patrick Connelly to the High Gravity blog this month for a little World Cup analysis. To be fair, it is on TV.—Josh Jackson

I’m kinda skeptical that Andrew Jackson would like soccer, but let’s assess his analogical value for the English-American battle royale at World Cup 2010 in South Africa on Saturday. After all, he took a ragtag, multicultural bunch in New Orleans and administered the final and most decisive whoopin’ of the more accomplished (on paper) British forces during the War of 1812. Now, the battle may have been more like a third group game in a World Cup than the first, given that the Treaty of Ghent had already been signed, officially bringing peace between the young republic and former mother country. However, nobody bothered to twitter Old Hickory about the peace agreement so he went ahead and badly outmaneuvered his British counterparts on the way to a stunning victory. I think you see where I’m heading here, right? Work with me people! We need some inspiration here…

The hype of this match demonstrates just how far American soccer has come. Just look at the coverage and expectations surrounding the 2010 World Cup in South Africa. ESPN has blown up their coverage exponentially. The mainstream media, blogosphere and social media outlets are flush with World Cup analysis. Most significantly, of course, esteemed Paste editor Josh Jackson has become a soccer maniac and transformed High Gravity into a World Cup hub. Compare today’s frenzy with 1990, when the United States was just glad to be there and was outclassed completely. Hosting in 1994 brought its own satisfactions, including the unexpected delight of advancing past the group stages. The disappointments of 1998 and 2006 served as a barometer of growing expectations by American soccer fans. Supporters of the USMNT were thrilled in 2002 with the upset of Portugal, the trouncing of Mexico and the near defeat of Germany in the quarterfinals. Many analysts across the world marveled at the shocking upset of top-ranked Spain in last summer’s Confederations Cup. A rapidly improving infrastructure with better organization and funding, a fairly stable domestic league and an increase in European-based players all have contributed to the transformation of American soccer. Now, in 2010, the United States is expected to advance out of the group stages.

Easier said than done, my friends. Slovenia is the potential thorn in the American side and should be taken seriously given that they knocked a strong Russian team out in a World Cup play-off. If England beats the United States and Slovenia beats Algeria, a lot of pressure will be on the Americans for that second match—one in which Slovenia may be content to pack the box and settle for a draw—or perhaps launch a counter-attack to produce the decisive goal. Then Slovenia would close out their group matches with an England team presumably already in control of the group and content with a draw. I’m worried. But first, it all begins for the United States with one of the most compelling match-ups of the opening round: United States vs. England. Colonies vs. Mother Country. Obama vs. Cameron (Gordon Brown was Scottish anyway). Nu Shooz vs. Kajagoogoo. Kenny Loggins vs. Phil Collins. But I digress…

Does the United States have a chance to win it? Let’s begin by asking this question: who on the United States roster would start for England? Everton goalkeeper Tim Howard might. Landon Donovan, after his excellent spell in the English Premier League, could push winger Aaron Lennon for a starting spot. But that’s it. The United States does not have an elite striker like Wayne Rooney, one of the best players in the world. They don’t have attacking midfielders the quality of Frank Lampard and Steven Gerrard. They don’t have a central defender the likes of John Terry. They don’t have a world class fullback such as Ashley Cole. The talent gap may have narrowed over the years, but England still has a decisive edge. And yet soccer is replete with examples of cohesive, spirited teams defeating more talented opponents. It could happen on Saturday. Just ask Spain.

Part Two will explore the strengths, weaknesses and inevitable melodrama surrounding England’s team. Saturday morning will bring Part Three of this epic trilogy: an assessment of the Americans and a match day prediction. But first, I’d like to close by thanking the Republic of Ireland in advance for their support on Saturday…