Nine World Cup Thoughts After the First Group Matches

Greetings from South Africa! (Not really, but I do watch Univision). Now that the first set of group matches are in the book, it’s time to reflect on what we know so far besides the bee hive drone of the vuvuzela and the whirling Jabulani ball. Nine thoughts:

1. More than a Cuckoo Clock
It may be time to revise Orson Welles’ suggestion, as The Third Man’s Harry Lime, that the lasting legacy of the Swiss is the cuckoo clock. What a stunning upset of the European champion and World Cup favorites Spain. Relentless defending and taking advantage of momentary chaos in the Spanish goal led to a result that turned this World Cup on its head. Ramifications? First, Spain is not a guarantee to survive the group. They probably will, but Chile remains a daunting obstacle. Second, Spain may qualify as the second place team in the group, which could result in an epic second round match-up with Brazil, who many predicted would face Spain in the title game.

2. Bafana Bafana So Longa
Ouch. How painful was it to see South Africa fall apart against Diego Forlán’s Uruguay, especially on a day with such historical significance? South Africa look very likely to be the first host country not to advance out of the group stages. There are scenarios which could see them into the second round, but they are highly unlikely. The Mexico opener was so promising, but Uruguay was much more disciplined in defense and took their scoring opportunities.

3. South America Steals the Continent Show
The first World Cup in Africa has not been kind to African teams, with the exception of Ghana, but the South Americans have dominated. Victories by Argentina, Brazil, Chile and Uruguay (who also drew with France) and an impressive draw with Italy by Paraguay. Can they all advance to the second round? Argentina and Brazil surely will. Uruguay look to be in great shape. Paraguay have their toughest game behind them and were helped tremendously by New Zealand’s late goal against Slovakia. Wait, what about Chile?

4. Chile Will Rue the Day
Despite a dominating performance against Honduras, Chile only scored one goal. A win’s a win…until Switzerland shocked Spain. Now Chile may have to beat Switzerland…and even that may not be enough. What if they beat the Swiss, but the Swiss beat Honduras, and Spain beat Honduras and Chile? Six points each and goal difference decides it. Chile will face a desperate Spain looking to accumulate goals in the last group match. Uh oh.

5. The ‘Hand of Clod’
So we got a little lucky thanks to what British tabloids termed Robert Green’s “Hand of Clod” blunder. But 1-1 was a just result. The most surprising feature of the match to me was how much possession the Americans maintained. Tim Howard, Michael Bradley and Oguchi Onyewu were immense. The USMNT avoided falling apart after a disastrous fourth minute English goal from Steven Gerrard. The United States is not good enough just to show up against Slovenia and Algeria and doesn’t play the role of favorite well. But let’s face it, we put ourselves in a fantastic position. I predict maximum points against the remaining group foes. Even as a Gamecock and Cubs fan…

6. The Usual Suspects
Life, death, taxes, and a German run at the World Cup. Australia may not be the most formidable opponent but that is not to take anything away from Germany’s stunning, attacking performance. It would behoove the United States to try and win our group because the runner-up likely will face Germany.

7. Kiwi Love
The closest I’ve gotten to New Zealand was seeing Gandalf in a multiplex, but I’ve always had a soft spot since writing a school report on the country in sixth grade. Wait, does anyone outside of Australia not like New Zealand? Great story to see the Kiwis pick up their first ever World Cup point. Regarded as perhaps the weakest team in the field, they stole a point from favored Slovakia with an injury time header from Winston Reid. Defending champs Italy are next, but the Kiwis have already had a successful Cup. Now they’ll be known for more than rugby, The Lord of the Rings, and lamb.

8. Conflicted over Pyongyang
Did anybody else have mixed feelings about North Korea in this Cup? Despite a deplorable regime—and maybe because of it—it’s hard not to pull for their players. They acquitted themselves very well against Brazil with an impressive goal. I’m sure their fans, er, the Chinese impersonators of their fans, were thrilled…

9. Maradona Doesn’t Disappoint
Thus far we’ve gotten the surreal and surprising appearance of Maradona in a suit and his scathing rebuke of a soccer legend: “Pele has to go back to the museum.” Just think, we’re only one game in.