Five surprises about the 2006-model Oasis

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First, the bad news for Oasis fans: The mouthy group has no plans of entering a studio at present. Now, the good: The band has a fine holiday gift ready in its new Stop The Clocks anthology, featuring 18 Oasis classics handpicked by the Gallagher brothers—guitarist Noel and vocalist Liam. Noel chose this festive occasion to set the record straight on a few key issues:

1.The members of Oasis are no longer party animals: A truth quickly discovered by filmmaker Baillie Walsh, who followed the outfit on a nine-month tour for the new documentary, Lord Don’t Slow Me Down. “I think he was kinda expecting the ‘drinking-champagne-out-of-cowboy-boots-at-seven-o’clock-in-the-morning-while-swinging-from-a-chandelier-somewhere’ sorta thing,” chuckles Gallagher, who’s pleased with the final cut. “But he got on board 10 years too late for that—everybody was on their best behavior.”

2.The members of Oasis are becoming soccer dads: “I think it’s a challenge to be a cool parent,” declares this proud pop, who regularly watches six-year-old daughter Anais steal her school plays. “And she’s got a fantastic singing voice—seriously. She also makes an appearance on a few of the demos that are floating around, some unreleased stuff.”

3.London no longer feels like home: Gallagher just relocated to a rustic Buckinghamshire mansion. “I actually put all my junk and clothes and stuff that I didn’t need in black bin bags, we call ‘em, refuse sacks. And I called up the local Oxfam, which is like a charity shop, and I got someone else to be there when they came, because, if they’d seen it was me, it would’ve all ended up in Sotheby’s. So I gave it all to charity, and nobody knows. It’s all out there somewhere—people are walking around in my old clothes, eating off my old plates.”

4.Just because Liam hasn’t made the tabloids recently, it doesn’t mean he’s secretly up to any mischief: “He’s in the pub ‘round the corner from my house, actually, just drinking on his own,” Noel reveals. “How sad is that? He’s just enjoying his time off, and he’s just moved out, too, so he’s in a flat full of cardboard boxes at the moment.”

5. Oasis is the king of the killer B-side: As proved by Clocks inclusions like “Acquiesce,” “Talk Tonight” and “The Masterplan,” “there was a two- or three-year period where everything I wrote was just fantastic,” Gallagher reappraises. “And of course, if all the B-sides for [sophomore set (What’s The Story) Morning Glory] would’ve been what became the Be Here Now album, I think we would’ve gone on to be possibly one of the biggest bands of all time. Uh, not that we’re not anyway! But I think we would’ve been as big as U2.”

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