Kellogg's Plan to Laser Stamp Cornflakes

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Nothing is sacred any more, not even that most iconic of American breakfast institutions, Kellogg’s Corn Flakes. Evidently there’s been a rash of similarly-packaged Corn-y knockoffs lately, because Kellogg’s is preparing to take drastic and heretofore unseen measures in branding their flagship cereal: they’re currently formulating plans to use a laser (!!) to burn the Kellogg’s logo onto flakes in every single box.

The process will use a focused beam of light to burn the logo onto each flake to create a toasted look, which Kellogg’s claims will not alter the flakes’ oh-so-familiar taste. They plan to produce a few trial batches of their (literally) branded cereal to determine whether it can be duplicated for mass production.

Kellogg’s lead food technologist, Helen Lyons, explained to the UK’s Daily Mail that “In recent years there has been an increase in the number of own brands trying to capitalise on the popularity of Kellogg’s corn flakes. We want shoppers to be under absolutely no illusion that Kellogg’s does not make cereal for anyone else. We’re constantly looking at new ways to reaffirm this and giving our golden flakes of corn an official stamp of approval could be the answer.”

So, Kellogg’s has basically gone nuclear in the breakfast-cereal arms race. Will they maintain détente with Post and General Mills, or is this the start of a long cold (cereal) war? Perhaps Bill Hicks was right.