Ozzy Osbourne: Health Columnist

Ozzy Osbourne
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Do as I say, not as I do… or have ever done. That’s about the only sound health advice Ozzy Osbourne has to offer, and UK’s The Sunday Times magazine says it’s good enough for them. The Prince of Darkness recently announced that he will soon tackle the world of medical journalism with a health advice a column called Dr. Ozzy.

“By all accounts, I’m a medical miracle,” he told Monstersandcritics.com. “When I die, I should donate my body to the Natural History Museum.”

Apparently that qualifies him to answer all manner of health-related reader questions. Surely someone out there has been wondering about the nutritional value of bat heads. And plenty of people have got to be on the fence about ant-snorting.

Osbourne says his experiences with and candor about a multitude of personal health problems may make readers more open to getting tests and exploring options related to their own medical issues.

And if all else fails, he could just post weekly YouTube installments of himself trying to read his column aloud. This is your brain on drugs, kids.