Ice T Records Dungeons & Dragons Audiobook

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He survived the streets to co-invent gangsta rap, faced down a president or two angry at his song Cop Killer and dropped some of the dopest slang in rap history. But now rapper/actor Ice T says he has met his match: trying to nail geek-speak for a Dungeons & Dragons audiobook.

Call it the O.G. versus D&D.

In a hilarious—and very NSFW—new episode of his hit Ice T’s Final Level Podcast, Ice describes how he stumbled into the audiobook gig and found his tongue in knots by fantasy slang. Ice T, whose current day job is reading dialogue from his Law & Order: SVU scripts, had no idea he’d be recording a novel based on the classic roleplaying game.

“They didn’t tell me this was a motherfuckin’ Dungeons & Dragons book,” Ice says, explaining to partner Mick Benzo that D&D is “some of the most crazy, deep, deep nerd shit.”

“Motherfuckers talk like Yoda,” Ice T marvels.

“They were talking about ‘pegasuses’ and ‘pegasi.’ That’s horses with wings,” he continues. “This motherfucker got a sword that talks to him… Motherfuckers live in places that don’t exist, and it comes with a map. My God.”

It took Ice three-and-a-half hours to record 25 pages of the book, whose title he does not reveal. But, he added, he will slay the fantasy-lingo dragon and let fans know when the audiobook goes on sale.

“It’ll be a treat to watch me, with my South Central-educated ass, trying to read some Dungeons & Dragons shit,” he promises.

An author in his own right—he’s penned a couple of memoirs—Ice T is set to drop a new album this year with his metal band Body Count. In his podcast, he makes it clear he’s an audiobook fan.

“Considering the way music is right now, you’re better off listening to a book,” he opines. “Honestly, it’s more entertaining.”

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