New Nonprofit Wants You to Skip Showers to Eat Beef

Food News
Share Tweet Submit Pin
New Nonprofit Wants You to Skip Showers to Eat Beef

You can’t have your beef and shower, too.

At least, that’s the idea behind, a nonprofit organization founded in the midst of the California drought to educate the public on drought awareness, advocate water conservation and employ eco-friendly methods to protect the beef industry.

The science behind the movement is that apparently, one pound of beef leaves a water footprint of 1,800 gallons. That’s equal to about 105 showers (provided you don’t enjoy them as much as Carlton Banks). So, what does that mean for a casual meat eater who still wants to tear into that juicy quarter-pounder without feeling remorse for drought victims? Simple: just stop taking showers.

If it sounds too overwhelming at first, don’t worry: two smiley hipsters who participate in the campaign and are clearly not paid actors reading off a clunky script remind us that it only equates to nine showers an ounce. You could start your anti-hygiene bender on a Friday, party all weekend, piss your coworkers off for the entire next week and then do it all over again on the next weekend!

In all seriousness, this is a doable thing. Dermatologists insist it’s not necessary to shower every day. There are a number of effective and well-publicized (thanks, Zac Efron) alternatives for staying squeaky clean, and they’re all available at the nonprofit’s website, along with a handy chart that offers the shower equivalents for several different beef dishes. There’s even a testimonial video from Grammy-nominated electronic artist Moby, which is actually a cruel and highly ineffective joke because Moby is a vegan and will simply laugh at our suffering as he enjoys the benefits of an ethically superior and healthier lifestyle. Hey, it’s the thought that counts.