Some brilliant mind from Nashville has come up with something we all need when we get drunk. I’m not talking the “I’m at a bar with friends!” drunk, I’m talking the “Whoops, I finished a bottle of wine at home by myself” drunk.
Next time you’re the latter version of intoxicated, grab your computer and start shopping on drunkMall. Like the similarly named SkyMall, drunkMall is all about the random stuff you can absolutely live without, but in your happy little drunk brain, it all seems to be life-altering purchases that will change your entire existence.
Sober you: Do I need these enormous googly eyes? No, that’s a silly idea.
Drunk you: OH MY GOD THESE ARE GREAT I NEED THEM FOREVER.
Sober you: Wow, this zombie gnome is kind of cool … but the neighbors may think I’m weird … better not.
Drunk you: I AM GOING TO PUT THIS IN THE YARD AND IT’S AWESOME I’M GOING TO NAME IT GNOMBIE HAHAHA GET IT??!?
The good thing about drunkMall is that most of the items are hilarious enough that when you wake up hungover, check your bank account and see you spent $100 on a jaguar suit and tie, you may laugh a little rather than being pissed at yourself. Though we can’t guarantee there won’t be any buyer’s remorse. If you’re worried you might buy 3,000 Jazzy ‘90’s cups, maybe just hide your computer when you get drunk at home, okay?