Comedy

The 75 Best Twitter Accounts of 2015

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billyeichnertwitter.jpg 60. Billy Eichner—@billyeichner
Twitter Bio: Emmy nom’d host – BILLY ON THE STREET! Thurs on @TruTV 10:30/930c or TBS Weds at midnite! DIFFICULT PEOPLE on @HULU! CRAIG on PARKS & REC! billyeichner on Insta
Best Recent Tweet: I want to remake Love Actually but with very ugly actors.
Runner-Up: I hate that Christmas isn’t about me.

scharplingtwitter.jpg 59. Tom Scharpling—@scharpling
Twitter Bio: Host of The Best Show. Writer. Director. 1/2 of Scharpling & Wurster. Professional chump steamroller. REV IT UP IN 2014, RUN THEM OVER IN 2015.
Best Recent Tweet: I hope George Lucas creates a new space franchise even better than Star Wars and everyone loves it and he kills it off just to punish nerds
Runner-Up: Is it more likely that Johnny Manziel wins a Super Bowl ring or an AVN award? GIVE ME YOUR ANSWERS NOW

meganamram.jpg 58. Megan Amram—@meganamram
Twitter Bio: it’s this weird, sexual, anti-comedy comedy that’s ‘in’ right now. – my mom
Best Recent Tweet: Americans sure like Star Wars for something that immediately forces you to read
Runner-Up: My ideal portion size is “four sets of utensils in the delivery bag”

nickwiger.jpg 57. Nick Wiger—@nickwiger
Twitter Bio: Hick tiger. Hunk
Best Recent Tweet: VI > VII > IV > V > I > III > II

...relax nerds, I’m talking about final fantasies ????
Runner-Up: Michael Bays new movie is called 13 Hours… What it’s about, a trip to the DMV.

“Thanks for following in 2015” -Nick Wiger

michaelianblack.jpg 56. Michael Ian Black—@michaelianblack
Twitter Bio: Noted (((expert))).
Best Recent Tweet: And so 2015 ends just as it began, with Dick Clark rotting in his grave.
Runner-Up: Yes, Christmas is over but that doesn’t mean you have to stop hating your family.

zoeklar.jpeg 55. Zoe Klar—@zoeklar
Twitter Bio: B-Cup • http://instagram.com/zoeklar
Best Recent Tweet: the two things i will never do on an airplane are relax and enjoy the flight.
Runner-Up: get your disgusting family off my newsfeed

roryscovel.jpeg 54. Rory Scovel—@roryscovel
Twitter Bio: [blank]
Best Recent Tweet: Would u rather ur 5 month old talk and say she hates u or not talk at all ever but u know she’s thinking that she hates u? #dadproblems
Runner-Up: Fine, I’ll bite. Whats Star Wars?

saraschaefertwitter.jpg 53. Sara Schaefer—@saraschaefer1
Twitter Bio: Comedian. Stand up album: apple.co/1NEK8Ma
Podcast LIES: wnyc.org/shows/lies/ So many other things. saraschaefer.com
Best Recent Tweet: Instagram has this neat feature that if you look back far enough into someone’s photos, you WILL find evidence that they hate you!
Runner-Up: The greatest act of kindness on Xmas is not looking up your dad’s favorite story on Snopes & sharing the results with your whole family

homehalfway.jpg 52. Michael—@Home_Halfway
Twitter Bio: If you’re not wearing pants, I won’t light this candle.
Best Recent Tweet: Twitter is great if you can’t afford therapy but you also don’t want to get any better.
Runner-Up: It’s like my grandpa always said, “Shut the fuck up and give me your lunch money.”

tvhelper.png 51. TV Helper—@TVCommentBot
Twitter Bio: I am a robot that watches TV and improves it with new dialogue. Brought to you by @DavidLublin and friends.
Best Recent Tweet: If it’s animal sacrifice it has to be good!

tvhelper1.jpg

tvhelper-thumb-128x128-414788mess.jpg Runner-Up: This is known to be the same cupcake worn by the killer.

tvhelper2.jpg

bornferal.jpeg 50. Megan Koester—@bornferal
Twitter Bio: I am a daughter of the Golden West.
Best Recent Tweet: I’ll empty my DivaCup™ on your grave
Runner-Up: HOLIDAY STATUS UPDATE: Stifling the urge to ask my teen cousins if they brought weed to my grandmother’s house

senderblock23.jpeg 49. Jonnifer Lopez—@senderblock23
Twitter Bio: nincompoop
Best Recent Tweet: Crazy but true: I have never been wrong about anything
Runner-Up: I’ve been penetrating the internet for years

andyrichter.jpg 48. Andy Richter—@AndyRichter
Twitter Bio: actor/writer from Midwestern U.S., married to @SarahThyre, father of two
Best Recent Tweet: o fucked up on myrrh rn
Runner-Up: Sometimes life makes perfect sense. For instance, there’s a classical music DJ on Sirius XM named Preston Trombly

marcellaarguello.jpg 47. Marcella Arguello—@marcellacomedy
Twitter Bio: Stop asking why I’m so mean and start asking why ya moms raised a punk ass bitch. // As seen on NBC and nothing else!!
Best Recent Tweet: Guy told me he didn’t know I could cook because I don’t instagram food pics. I don’t post pics of my vagina either u think I ain’t got that?
Runner-Up: I feel like I could get away with murder if I had hazel eyes.

karenkilgariff.jpeg 46. Karen Kilgariff—@KarenKilgariff
Twitter Bio: TV/VCR Repair
Best Recent Tweet: My niece went to bed but left the Disney Channel on every show looks and sounds like skit night at the mega church
Runner-Up: I like visiting my family because they’re genuinely impressed by how many Jeopardy questions I guess right

asterioskokkinos.jpg 45. Asterios Kokkinos—@asterios
Twitter Bio: the good boy of comedy
Best Recent Tweet: Wow, all football teams would win more games if they’d listen to the loud, angry drunks on this train
Runner-Up: SON OF BLART

VS.

THE 45 YEAR OLD MALLRATS

IN

PAUL BLART 3: MALLRATS 2

BBW_BFF.jpg 44. priscilla page—@BBW_BFF
Twitter Bio: stygian as fuck http://pantyhouse.tumblr.com & http://motorpsych.tumblr.com
Best Recent Tweet: PRO TIP: start every writing project asking yourself the big question, “what would make my dick explode”
Runner-Up: THE MEAT is my favorite Rocky character

hamptonyount.jpg 43. Hampton Yount—@HamptonYount
Twitter Bio: PROUD blart. http://hamptonyount.com
Best Recent Tweet: Fist fighting is two men crying at each other with their hands
Runner-Up: SPOILER: it sucks C-3PO had to get a new arm and penis from masturbating too much

animaldrumss.png 42. Mike F—@animaldrumss
Twitter Bio: I make stuff with wood and i tell jokes. I know most of the states and all of the meals. ask.fm/animaldrumsspatreon.com/animaldrums
Best Recent Tweet: the post office is always losing money, but i have an idea for them. they should stop taking stuff fuckin across the countyr for 49 cents
Runner-Up: its time to face facts. the only reason people think the 1920s was a golden age of cinema is cause you were allowed to blaze in the theater

neilhamburgertwitter.jpg 41. Neil Hamburger—@NeilHamburger
Twitter Bio: America’s $1 Funnyman
Best Recent Tweet: Dump rotting skin and bones into acid; dye the resulting slop cheerful colors; feed it to kids. Why was Cosby EVER trusted?
Runner-Up: Any of his retweets of people who got food poisoning at Taco Bell or his angry responses to fast food restaurants.—Ed.

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