Ridiculous Last-Minute Valentine’s Packages Roundup

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In honor of Valentine’s Day, airlines, hotels and even Costa Rican bungalows have released
their ridiculously romantic packages for a brag worthy Valentine’s gift that’s significantly better than chalky, candy hearts or a regrettable confessional with an ex. Go ahead and snatch a discounted flight or plan your upcoming vacation with some of these amorous adventures:

All-inclusive packages

Spend a week in China…for less than the cost of airfare: World Spree’s “Timeless Beijing” package currently begins at $1,038 for trips as early as next month.The deal includes round-trip air from San Francisco or LA, six nights at a four-star hotel, six all-American breakfasts, three Chinese lunches and three days of sightseeing. Whew.

“On Cloud 9” at Nayara Springs, Costa Rica: This Valentine’s Day “On Cloud 9” package begins with a three-night stay in a villa situated in the midst of Costa Rica’s Arenal Volcano National Park—literally considered one of the prettiest places on Earth. Guests will also enjoy a private helicopter ride over Arenal Volcano and the surrounding rainforest and waterfalls. Wait, it gets better: There’ll be a guided tour of Doka Coffee plantation, a hot-stone massage and an intimate dinner for two in a rainforest bungalow, accompanied with live music.

Air Tahiti Nui savings to the South Pacific: This special involves mass savings on a variety of packages to the paradisiac island, including six-nights at Tahiti’s “Hidden Island Paradise,” which includes round-trip air from LA to Papeete and a five-night stay in an overwater bungalow. Oh, and it’s only bungalow like life is suddenly some ‘60s Cary Grant film. Oh, and it’s only $2398—the flight alone is usually $1,600.

Cruises

Two-for-one Fares on Crystal Cruises: Two-for-one on one of the world’s most luxurious cruise lines? Oh yeah. Crystal Cruises is about to expand into the European river cruise market, and they want you in on their latest deal. Through February 29th, the cruise line’s hooking up potential passengers with a major steal: Two-for-one fares on all sailings through 2018. The luxurious roster includes the 10-night Crystal Mozart cruise through the Danube capitals, complete with stops for wine tasting in Dürnstein.

$100 off romantic Costa Cruises: This Valentine’s Day, Costa Cruises is running a special on a few of its most romantic itineraries along the Mediterranean. While the deal extends through Valentine’s Day, the cruises occur through March, April and May. Costa Diadema departs from Barcelona and floats through the Balearic Islands to France and Italy and takes relaxing on the French Riviera to the next level. Rates begin at $592 per person, and kids can sail for free.

Buy One, Get One on Fathom: Fathom’s “voluntourism” sailings for the Dominican Republic give first and second passengers a 50% discount. The deal lasts through February 29th, and rates begin at $628 per person in May and $733 per person in June. The BOGO promo isn’t skimping out on the amenities, either. You’ll enjoy comped meals, social impact immersion experiences, and three social impact activities during your days in the Dominican Republic. To book, you won’t find this deal on Fathom’s website. Call 1-855-932-8466 and use the reference code “FA.”

Naughty lodging

The Burlesque Suite at Kameha Grand Zurich Hotel: This silky suite comes with a box of Agent Provocateur surprises—you know, handcuffs, masks, and whips—delicately placed next to the king-size bed. The suite also comes equipped with a kitchenette, so you can literally cook up some love.

“Love Sensations” Package at Hotel Colón Guanahaní, Tenerife: This adults-only hotel whips lovers into a romantic frenzy with a package that includes a five course meal, champagne and something called the “Dreams” Intimate Kit, complete with honey dust body powder with au natural feather duster, “stimulant” body gel, edible massage oils and other toys for a night of passion.

A night in The Secret Dungeon at High Wycombe: If you find yourself isolated in the middle of Buckinghamshire, England then The Secret Dungeon bed and breakfast will almost certainly be a hit. Equipped with a kinky dress-up box, sex furniture, mirrored ceilings and, if necessary, a set of chains, this boutique B&B is more like a BDSM&B.

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