After last week’s apocalyptic Republican National Convention, the Democrats have their turn with four days of Clinton hagiography and Bernie Bro booing in Philadelphia. You’d have to be really cynical—or really conservative—to have a huge problem with tonight’s convention. Yeah, there was a lot of Trump criticism, but, c’mon, it’s Donald Trump. Even the people who are going to vote for him are smart enough to realize how despicable he is. But yeah, tonight’s DNC featured an all-star line-up of speakers, including Cory Booker, Al Franken, Sarah Silverman, and a main event trifecta of Michelle Obama, Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders. An unruly contingent of Sanders supporters made headlines by booing off and on throughout the night, but they couldn’t distract from the message of unity that was hammered on by every speaker, including progressive heroes Warren and Sanders.
We’re not here for messages, though. We’re here for jokes. Specifically jokes that were told on Twitter, a website that people use for telling jokes and harassing women. It was especially valuable tonight, and here’s the best of the best. (The best of the best jokes. Not the best of the best harassment of women. There is no good harassment of women. C’mon already, people.)