A Political Scouting Report on Curt Schilling, Wannabe Senator

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A Political Scouting Report on Curt Schilling, Wannabe Senator

After a Hall of Fame-ish Major League Baseball career and a less glorious stint at ESPN, former Phillies/Diamondbacks/Red Sox ace and three-time World Series champion Curt Schilling announced Tuesday that he plans to challenge Elizabeth Warren, or whomever the Democrats nominate as her successor, for her senate seat in 2018. It can be tough to pin down athletes who run for political office (see: Ventura, Jesse), but Schilling has dropped one or two hints as to what his political views might be. Here’s what we know so far about this righty’s political leanings…consider this free oppo research for Team Warren.

The 2016 Presidential election

Schilling endorsed Donald Trump early on, in a rambling post on his blog. He defended Trump after a video surfaced of the candidate talking about one day dating a girl who was 10 at the time, tweeting, “If intimating a young lady will grow up to be stunningly beautiful = child molestation you’re liberal and voting for a scumbag.”

Transgender rights

The 2001 World Series MVP has been very clear on this matter: despite playing his entire career as a starter, relief – specifically, where people are allowed to relieve themselves – is at the top of his agenda. During the HB2 hysteria that gripped North Carolina last spring, he reposted an offensive meme on his Facebook page, adding, “I don’t care what they are, who they sleep with, the men’s room was designed for the penis, women’s not so much.”

His comments were enough to finally get him fired from ESPN, which fits perfectly with the whole “the media is rigged against me” thing you can count on his campaign trotting out.

Social security and healthcare

Perhaps the defining moment of Schilling’s career was when he won Game Six of the 2004 American League Championship Series despite an injury so severe that his sock was literally red with blood. It would, frankly, be shocking if he didn’t turn this iconic moment of perseverance and determination into some kind of metaphor for why government handouts are evil.

Term limits

Schilling has yet to take a position on Trump’s proposal for congressional term limits, but he supports occasionally giving longer-serving congresspeople an extra day of rest between starts.

Evolution

The six-time All Star disagrees with the scientific consensus on evolution, and his answer to On the Origin of Species was a similarly eye-opening five-hour Twitter rant. He challenged the Twitterverse to find “ANY fossil that is between the amphibian and a fly, mosquito, Elephant, Rhino, Human, Snake, anything” and, evidently, the Twitterverse failed to convince him.

Foreign Affairs

Schilling believes that the Iran Deal was a bad idea because the Blood Moon told him so and would presumably look to the heavens for advice on other foreign policy matters. We don’t have a great understanding of what he would do about the Syrian Civil War, for example, but he may be waiting to announce his strategy until after the total solar eclipse next August.

Also, don’t forget that Schilling hails from Alaska, so it’s safe to assume he’s every bit as savvy in this area as Sarah Palin.

Birds

Perhaps to make amends for former teammate Randy Johnson’s brutal murder-by-fastball of a passing bird in 2001, Schilling houses a large number of chickens and other fowl in a miniature Old West-style town on his property and posts pictures of them to his blog. They have names like Cher, Cruella, and Rolex, and, to be honest, it might be excessive but it’s kind of adorable.

Immigration

It’s possible Schilling’s opposition to immigration stems from watching immigrants take Hall of Fame spots away from hardworking Americans like himself, but if his Twitter is any indicator – and it really is – it has more to do with xenophobia. Exhibit A: This now-deleted tweet comparing Muslims to Nazis, in which Schilling announces that he’s crunched the numbers and it turns out Muslims are actually more of a threat per capita.

He elaborated on the Muslim threat during a recent radio interview, saying, “We’ve dropped the gates, they were at the gates, now they’re in. They’ve infiltrated with the mass immigration of the migrants from the Middle East.”

That was after his Muslim-Nazi outburst disqualified Schilling from ESPN’s coverage of the Little League World Series. Will it disqualify him from elected office? Your call, Bay State!

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