Comedy

The 75 Best Twitter Accounts of 2016

Comedy Lists Best of 2016
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2016 scharpling.jpg 60. Tom Scharpling—@scharpling
Twitter Bio: Host of The Best Show. Writer. Director. 1/2 of Scharpling & Wurster. 2016 or bust.
Best Recent Tweet: I love when bands come onstage to entrance music that is better than anything they are going to perform for the next two hours.
Runner-Up: Why did Darth Vader pitch Luke on joining forces AFTER chopping off his hand? Seems like it would be hard to close any deal after doing that


2016 kate berlant.jpg 59. Kate Berlant—@kateberlant
Twitter Bio: I begged them not to verify me.
Best Recent Tweet: Had a hyper realistic nightmare that comedy couldn’t prevent the rise of fascism
Runner-Up: So glad we have La La Land to remind us that black people are props


twitter tormblaby.jpg 58. Tormblaby Piackeels—@Tormny_Pickeals
Twitter Bio: check out my podcast if u wanna know if u can cum in space. ‘’I COMPLETELY disagree with this guy, but I like him’’ -Patton Oswardt
Best Recent Tweet: every girl wants a boy who
-buys her roses
-kisses her on the cheek
-reads ayn rand once
-explains love in terms of economic benefit
Runner-Up: i vote democrat & practice edging, because theres nothing quite like approaching a satisfying climax &then smashing your nuts to prevent it


twitter joek.jpg 57. Joe Kwaczala—@joekjoek
Twitter Bio: \\\\\\\\ Writer | Comedian | Coward //////// Contributor for @ClickHole & @ONN – Host of The Wheel Show, @TheLateLiveShow and future inventor of caramel M&Ms
Best Recent Tweet: Yo church, it is weird when you make me shake my mom’s hand
Runner-Up: I once met a Rachel with such a thick California accent that it sounded like her name was Ray Charles 


2016 ohnoshetwitnt.jpg 56. OhNoSheTwitnt—@OhNoSheTwitnt
Twitter Bio: Jewish American Disney Princess
Best Recent Tweet: [Trump repeatedly praises foreign dictator]
This man is a patriot!

[Obama is a black guy]
I don’t even believe he’s really American.
Runner-Up: Christmas is a dude. It only comes once but everyone celebrates. Chanukah is a chick. It comes 8 times in a row but it’s not that important.



2016 smethanie.jpg 55. Stephanie McMaster—@Smethanie
Twitter Bio: Writer. Mom. Once washed a cat in a bathroom sink at DFW Airport. smethanie on IG, Snapchat
Best Recent Tweet: I texted someone “hell yeah,” but autocorrect changed it to “hell year” because even our phones know.
Runner-Up: The most unbelievable part of Westworld is that anyone would spend $40k a day for a vacation lacking wifi.


2016 sbellelauren.jpg 54. Lauren Ashley Bishop—@sbellelauren
Twitter Bio: i’m a comedian from arkansas. i live in LA. but i comede all over. @nataliedeefacebook.com/sbellelauren
Best Recent Tweet: be the favorite person in your family by yelling “i know how you die!!” when natalie wood comes on screen in miracle on 34th street
Runner-Up: dogs are gonna be so angry when they find out we pee inside


2016 ziwe.jpg 53. Ziwe—@ziwe
Twitter Bio: comic @theonion@aboveaverage@cafedotcom
Best Recent Tweet: my identity politics is “I don’t want to live in an internment camp”
Runner-Up: Ronda Rousey lost because the white working class didn’t feel inspired


2016 pixelated boat.jpg 52. Pixelated Boat—@PixelatedBoat
Twitter Bio: Space criminal. Read my comics on IG – Instagram.com/onegianthand or tumblr – onegianthand.com
Best Recent Tweet: You (ignorant about history): 2016 was the worst year ever Me (wise): The worst year was 2009 when I trapped my dick in 7 separate car doors
Runner-Up: The kids will fight back against Trump with punk rock, a white-as-hell genre created by people their grandparents’ age


2016 kilgariff.jpg 51. Karen Kilgariff—@KarenKilgariff
Twitter Bio: TV/VCR Repair
Best Recent Tweet: The definition of insanity is starting a subtitled Netflix series like you can stop looking at your phone for more than 4 seconds
Runner-Up: My secret to success? Constantly whisper “fuck you” all day long



desijed best twitter.jpg 50. DesiJed—@DesiJed
Twitter Bio: Trump destroyer, cum lover. Instagram.com/desijed
Best Recent Tweet: “How Soon is Now?” then “The Killing Moon”? Why do I get the feeling this restaurant is about to finger me while we watch 120 Minutes?
Runner-Up: One thing that still brings me pleasure after the election is blow drying my bush in the gym locker room. It’s the small things.


kumailn best twitter.png 49. Kumail Nanjiani—@kumailn
Twitter Bio: Silicon Valley. Upcoming movie The Big Sick. Portlandia. Adventure Time. The Indoor Kids. The X-Files Files. Activist.
Best Recent Tweet: Hope: Internet will allow ppl from different backgrounds to communicate & understand one another.

Reality: All the racists found each other!
Runner-Up: Dudes: The only acceptable emotion for men to show is anger. What could go wrong?

Cut to entire earth literally on fire


louis virtel best twitter.jpeg 48. Louis Virtel—@louisvirtel
Twitter Bio: Verbal voguer. Tragically thin. Lost in a catsuit of emotions. Jeopardy! snapdragon. Gay for attention.
Best Recent Tweet: Reminder not to show “Home Alone” to your kids since it is a movie about taking Catherine O’Hara for granted.
Runner-Up: My favorite 38-minute pop song is “Candle in the Wind 2016.”


pftompkins best twitter.jpg 47. Paul F. Tompkins—@PFTompkins
Twitter Bio: SPONTANEANATION / BoJack Horseman / Bajillion Dollar Propertie$ Snapchat: PFTompkins
Best Recent Tweet: SO WHAT IF I STILL ENJOY EATING DRY CHEERIOS OUT OF A BAGGIE WHILE SEATED ON A TALL CHAIR WITH AN ATTACHED TRAY
Runner-Up: Yeah, I’ll delete-and-replace for typos, so what? I RESPECT THE FUTURE GENERATIONS READING MY TWEETS IN THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS.


victorpope best twitter.jpg 46. Victor Pope Jr—@VictorPopeJr
Twitter Bio: Snapchat = Victorpopejr. For business victorpopejr@gmail.com
Best Recent Tweet: somebody said “why does God hate me”. He dont hate u. He love u. He just cant leave his wife rn. U know what u was getting into.
Runner-Up: I just realized I ain’t ever called the police in my life and now I wanna call em just to see wassup



marcella arguello best twitter.jpg 45. Marcella Arguello—@marcellacomedy
Twitter Bio: Stop asking why I’m so mean and start asking why ya moms raised a punk ass bitch • 3x @midnight winner • 209 TIL I DIE
Best Recent Tweet: There’s no way in hell any dude who voted for Trump is good at sex.
Runner-Up: A dude rejected me by suggesting we should “just be friends” and I was like dude I’m ugly but I’m not THAT fuckin ugly.


morninggloria best twitter.jpg 44. Erin Gloria Ryan—@morninggloria
Twitter Bio: Now: @TheDailyBeast. Host of @cafedotcom’s Girl Friday. Dork on @truTV’s Greatest Ever. Also: #racewars@Jezebel@Vh1. So tired. email: erinryan@ProtonMail.com
Best Recent Tweet: instead of reading [breitbart writer] milo [yiannopoulos]’s book i suggest you read the front of a bus as it approaches you at top speed and from a very close distance
Runner-Up: (gets out of bed) (checks twitter) well that was a mistake


desusnice best twitter.jpg 43. Desus Nice—@desusnice
Twitter Bio: #Bodegaboys on Itunes |@desusandmero on @Viceland | tweeting shirtless in red lobster eatin on shrimp | IG: desusnice | CONTACT: Desus@Desusnice.com
Best Recent Tweet: can they give trump a fake nuclear code? like mike jones phone number or something?
Runner-Up: To be fair Ronda Rousey won the electoral college vote


chelseaperetti best twitter.jpg 42. Chelsea Peretti—@chelseaperetti
Twitter Bio: One of the Greats. Brooklyn Nine Nine. Hour stand-up special on Netflix. Podcast on itunes. CAPS AREN’T YELLING THEY R ACTION MOVIE LEVEL INTENSITY TWEETING.
Best Recent Tweet: Imagine if you were a food scientist who invented the “sour cream and onion” flavor, how much you’d swing ur dick around w your colleagues!
Runner-Up: I know this isnt what twitter is about but I just want to announce that I just finished reading a book! It felt great!


mikedrucker best twitter.png 41. Mike Drucker—@MikeDrucker
Twitter Bio: Co-Head Writer (Bill Nye Saves the World), Writer (Adam Ruins Everything, Tonight Show, SNL, Nintendo, IGN), Comedian, Podcast host. You be good. I love you.
Best Recent Tweet: REPUBLICANS: Obama was not strong enough against Russia. He failed. 2017 will fix this.

TRUMP: Yo, Putin. Lemme suck that dick a bit more.
Runner-Up:I’m drinking in an airport bar and “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” just came on. Good news! It’s an act break scene in my life!


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