The Funniest Tweets about Beyoncé's Pregnancy Announcement

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The Funniest Tweets about Beyoncé's Pregnancy Announcement

“If I ever asked for a story at night, either my mother or father always told me this one. Let’s see. Once there was a world and it had, you know, everything in the world in it. Rocks, trees, oceans, animals, people, houses, governments. All of it. It was great, everyone thought and felt. then everyone started to imagine it getting ruined and run down. And that started happening in reality. People started hurting and killing everyone. But then this boy or girl was born that everyone loved due to their beauty. And the child said to everyone, ‘I’d be scared, too.’ So everyone was scared together. And all their worries turned into a sort of comfort. And their doubts turned into a kind of faith, sort of. New people were born during this. And new words were invented to talk about people with. Newness, like, reigned over the world in a story. Then a bright white horse showed up. Then I always fell asleep. At the end, though, I bet my father or mother whispered, ‘Sweet dreams.’ I can almost see them, leaning over and pulling the sheet up and whispering something simple like that in the dark room. ‘Good night, sweet dreams,’ someone is whispering over me, because they loved me and it is nighttime and they wanted to try to say something… ‘Good night, sweet dreams,’ they whisper, and then walk backwards out the door, and close it.” -Will Eno, Tragedy: A Tragedy

H/t to the following tweeters:

@sageboggs
@goldengateblond
@OhNoSheTwitnt
@samfbiddle
@lpbradley
@GrainneMaguire
@michelleisawolf
@emilynussbaum
@rilaws
@grantpa
@astonoha
@ditzkoff
@patrickfdelaney
@TynanDeLong
@SopanDeb
@anchorlines
@lolzdonz
@emmaroller
@senderblock23
@_irenemerrow
@samelpan
@caityweaver
@guybranum
@NoHoesGeorge
@nkulw